We all make mistakes. And, frequently, we assume the blame for our own transgressions, because we are responsible adults. But we've been wrong to do that. Because, all along, we should have known that the real reason we were using such poor judgment was because we live in Brooklyn. And because we are hipsters. None of it is our fault. So the next time you find yourself in trouble with the law—or even just with your friends—blame the fact that you live in Brooklyn. Just call it the hipster defense.
The New York Post reports on Sophia Anderson who was arrested in 2012 when she "was in the car when ex-beau Daniel Sajewski drove his parents’ Mercedes into the home of an elderly Long Island woman." Initially, Anderson assumed culpability because her boyfriend not only "had a criminal record and was on probation", but also because "he promised a Hamptons vacation and said he would pay for her lawyer." Which is exactly what all hipsters want—a place in the Hamptons and legal fees.
However, Anderson came to her senses and denied that she was at fault for the accident. In fact, as she and her lawyer claimed, the real problem was not even the boyfriend. The real problem was her "hipster lifestyle" and "the allure of Brooklyn." But now that Anderson doesn't "sport a partially shaved head" and lives in Connecticut where she attends a community college, it looks like she might just be ok.
Unless, of course, the hipster lifestyle manages to find its way on the New Haven line of the Metro North—you just know the hipster lifestyle hangs in the bar car—and descends upon the sleepy commuter towns that were once safe from everything except the preppy lifestyle. Be careful, Connecticut. Hipsters might be coming for you next.
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