But the one pope I really hope we don't see is Pope Tim Dolan. He's the Archibishop of New York and a Cardinal, which means he'll be voting for the next pope; he's also been floated as a candidate, though any reasonable person—i.e. not the Daily News—knows he's a long shot. (Right? Right?) I don't like Timothy Dolan. Truth is, I probably won't like any pope: as a resident of the 21st century, I believe in crazy things like equality for women. But my own ideology isn't in total opposition to the Catholic Church's: we're both generally anti-poverty, opposed to war and the death penalty. My major beef with the Catholic Church isn't over what it believes—it's with its selectivity in deciding what actually matters. Here's a quick guide to Dolan's moral beliefs, from pedophilia (not so bad) to healthcare (bad!!!).