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Like many New Yorkers, the first words that I could read by myself were "walk" and "don't walk." That little white man on the go and his stationary red counterpart were only introduced in 2000 as a way to make the traffic signals easier for non-English speakers to understand. Basically, we are now living in simpler times. And by simpler, I mean stupider. Because, while I am not generally this much of a nativist reactionary, it's just two words! Learn how to read those two words. Or, like, watch what everyone else is doing. And either cross or don't. I don't know, check to see if cars are coming, maybe? What is this? Los Angeles? This might easily be the thing that's changed that I feel the most bitter about, even though it's been more of a decade since the death of "Walk/Don't Walk," I hold a grudge. I am a grudge-holder. RIP.