Monday, March 11, 2013

Which Neighborhoods Will Be Gentrified Next?

Posted By on Mon, Mar 11, 2013 at 1:15 PM

Traditional gentrification hotspots in Brooklyn are, like, super expensive. So the people who once might have called Park Slope home are now going to other neighborhoods, the Times reports—neighborhoods with fewer "organic markets and stylish boutiques"! Neighborhoods, that is, that are deeper into Brooklyn than Manhattan-kissing communities like Williamsburg and Cobble Hill, both of which outpriced Gramercy Park in 2012. Neighborhoods like these four, the matriculates of Gentrification: The New Class.

Sunset Park gentrification
Sunset Park
Oh, c'mon. Ever since gentrification started people have been threatening that Sunset Park would be NEXT, and while you see a few funny-looking white people getting off the R at 45th Street, the neighborhood is still solidly Latino to the west, Chinese to the east. I guess the real threat is the redeveloping once-industrial waterfront, where artists are moving and where there will soon be a park—just the sort of thing gentrifiers love! Also, Jacques Torres is opening a factory down there, which the Times sees as a sure sign of gentrification, because Jacques Torres opened a shop in DUMBO a decade ago. Riiiiight... [photo]

Ditmas Park gentrification
Ditmas Park
Seriously? Stop the fucking presses, people are moving to Ditmas Park! Did you know there are nice houses there? DID YOU KNOW THAT? [photo]

Crown Heights gentrification
Crown Heights
"ProCro, though not exactly catchy, is the term being used to market properties in the western part of Crown Heights, which abuts Prospect Heights." Shut the fuck up, New York Times! No one is using that term except for the dumbest, most vile real estate agents! Goddammit, now I'm going to see aunts and uncles at family functions and have to hear about this "ProCro" place. Thanks a fucking lot.

Prospect Lefferts Gardens gentrification
Prospect Lefferts Gardens
Once, as a western-Brooklyn resident, you discover there's another side of Prospect Park, an eastern side, you never want to go back slopeside. I know someone who lived on Ocean Avenue in the biggest apartment I've ever seen in my life.

Bushwick gentrification
Hahahahahahahaha. [photo]

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Henry Stewart

Henry Stewart

Henry Stewart is the Culture Editor at The L Magazine and Brooklyn Magazine. He has always lived in Brooklyn.

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