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I asked my coworker Henry Stewart — a real life beard-sporting man — about this whole thing, and the answer was pretty simple. "I grew a beard as soon as I was able—when I was 20—and have more or less kept it since." Everyone who's seen a horrible, wispy sort-of beard on teenage boys can attest to the importance youths place on the ability to grow a real beard, whether or not they even want one. Some people just never get over it (Henry).