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What does this mean for you, the average Bay Ridge resident? First, your rents are going to double, probably triple. (This isn't so bad for the average landlords among you.) Also, people who look different from you will be on the streets and also in establishments you used to like. People with beards will be in Hinsch's, enjoying it ironically and eating veggie burgers.
You'll be able to rail against this for a few years, but then you'll be pushed out to Dyker Heights while the Times writes articles about the radical turnaround of Fifth Avenue, which used to be so "dangerous" and "ethnic" but is now full of interesting boutiques and cool bars and upscale falafel restaurants. And you'll tell people it didn't used to be dangerous at all and they'll laugh at you and show you pictures of kids hanging out in front of the Alpine and you'll feel crazy and wind up in the native New Yorkers wing of the asylum.
So you may as well buy a new pair of glasses and start shopping at Brooklyn Industries. If you can't beat 'em etc.
Follow Henry Stewart on Twitter @henrycstewart