Wednesday, March 20, 2013

The Hipster Invasion is Real, and It's Coming!

Posted By on Wed, Mar 20, 2013 at 12:13 PM

Bay Ridge hipsters Brooklyn
  • Cool Bushwick band, right? WRONG. IT'S BAY RIDGE.
It's actually happening—hipsters are invading Bay Ridge. Sure, laugh it up, and then the next thing you know, Caffe Cafe serves $11 coffee, Century 21 only sells skinny jeans, and the food at Chadwick's is vegan. You might say, "they'd never make it this far south because the commute is too long," but like viruses adapting to antibiotics, some of them have developed the ability to ride the subway for longer periods of time, and thus have spread cancerously to neighborhoods like ours.

There were warning signs that people didn't take seriously. The Owl's Head wine bar opened, catering to trendy youths with its wines and its foods from local independent vendors. The hipsters moved in to drink there. Then one of the neighborhood's trendiest residents, the owner of the uber-hip Kettle Black and Ho'Brah, announced he'd open a third location, the full-hipster Lockyard. And people scoffed. While more hipsters moved in.

I've seen it: I've seen men wearing Club Masters in Three Jolly Pigeons, other men in red pants and Sex Pistols T-shirts under Elvis Costello-esque sports jackets on Shore Road. I've seen women wearing thick-framed glasses on Third Avenue sporting dresses with leggings.

Now Brooklyn Industries, with its relevant apparel, is opening a store in Bay Ridge, the Brooklyn Paper reports, near 86th Street, which used to have real businesses like Record Factory but is increasingly crowded with hipster favorites like halal food trucks. In Journalism, three things makes a trend, which means that Bay Ridge has officially gone hipster.

What does this mean for you, the average Bay Ridge resident? First, your rents are going to double, probably triple. (This isn't so bad for the average landlords among you.) Also, people who look different from you will be on the streets and also in establishments you used to like. People with beards will be in Hinsch's, enjoying it ironically and eating veggie burgers.

You'll be able to rail against this for a few years, but then you'll be pushed out to Dyker Heights while the Times writes articles about the radical turnaround of Fifth Avenue, which used to be so "dangerous" and "ethnic" but is now full of interesting boutiques and cool bars and upscale falafel restaurants. And you'll tell people it didn't used to be dangerous at all and they'll laugh at you and show you pictures of kids hanging out in front of the Alpine and you'll feel crazy and wind up in the native New Yorkers wing of the asylum.

So you may as well buy a new pair of glasses and start shopping at Brooklyn Industries. If you can't beat 'em etc.

Follow Henry Stewart on Twitter @henrycstewart

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About The Author

Henry Stewart

Henry Stewart

Henry Stewart is the Culture Editor at The L Magazine and Brooklyn Magazine. He has always lived in Brooklyn.

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