Thursday, April 25, 2013

The Fucking Recycling Laws Have Changed

Posted By on Thu, Apr 25, 2013 at 11:36 AM

From New Yorks annual Recycling Parade
  • From New York's annual Recycling Parade
Recycling in NYC isn't that hard; it just means you have to take a fucking second to figure out the rules. Or, on a day like today, two seconds, because they've gone and changed the fucking rules. I mean, it's a good thing: the city is expanding the list of things it accepts for recycling. We just have to figure out what the fuck a "hard plastic" is. (That's what she said?) The city starts handing out fines for fucking this up in July. [photo]

Plastic bottle cap
My old rule of thumb for recycling in New York City was that if it's plastic, you probably can't recycle it. The old exception was bottles: soda bottles, tonic bottles, seltzer bottles—you know, the leftovers from your cocktail-parties-for-one. This is no longer accurate, however, because NYC now accepts various forms of "rigid plastic." What the fuck is that? Well, for starters, bottle caps, for all you jerks who were screwing bottle caps back onto plastic bottles before you recycled them. (They were not recyclable under the old rules; in general, you should never screw a bottle cap back onto an empty bottle. It's not like they're friends and want to go to garbage-dump heaven together.)

Humus containers
What else? How about "rigid plastic food containers"? I sort of know what the fuck these are: yogurt cups, deli containers, humus tubs and some other things that I don't know what the fuck they are: "dairy tubs"? "Cookie tray inserts"? What the fuck do you people eat? Also, I don't know what a "clamshell container" is, but they say it's something like a "plastic takeout container," which is good. What a waste of plastic those were, eh? All those empty tofu and broccoli containers going into the trash... I mean, I could have saved them, pretended like I was going to reuse them, and let them pile up in my cabinets until I moved and was like, "why did I save all these fucking things?" I guess now I could have recycled them. Shit. [photo]

Milk crates
What else? Plastic housewares! That's cool. Like flowerpots, big bowls, and plastic appliances. Like, um, uh... does anyone have any plastic appliances? Wtf? Also, random household shit like milk crates, buckets, toys, shit like that. They're also taking "blister-paks," which Google Image suggests are those sheets you pop pills out of. Also "acetate boxes," which are the thin clear things that shitty presents come in. And "clamshell consumer packaging," which is that shit you can't open without a pair of scissors and RAGE. [photo]

Question mark long
Also, "rigid plastic non-food containers." The city offers no examples of this. Let your imaginations run wild. I have no fucking clue.

NYC bottles cans collector
As always, take all this plastic shit—rinsed or whatever so it's not fucking filthy—and put it in a blue or clear garbage bag with your plastic bottles and jugs and your cartons (soy milk, etc.). Put all this shit in a white or black garbage bag and you're just asking for trouble.

Follow Henry Stewart on Twitter @henrycstewart

Tags: , , ,

More by Henry Stewart

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

About The Author

Henry Stewart

Henry Stewart

Bio:
Henry Stewart is the Culture Editor at The L Magazine and Brooklyn Magazine. He has always lived in Brooklyn.

© 2014 The L Magazine
Website powered by Foundation