Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Beach, Please

Posted By on Tue, Jul 15, 2008 at 1:31 PM

click to enlarge unknown.jpg

When you want to go to the beach, there are four factors to think about.

1. Proximity to where you live: How long is the drive, LIRR ride, train ride, ferry ride, whatever?

2. Niceness: Is it a little gross, is there trash around, are there condoms in the sand?

3. Crowdedness: Is it crazy crowded, are little kids running over the corners of your towel, are there people listening to terrible music on a boombox five feet away, will you get in trouble for drinking?

4. Price: Did you have to spend more than $20 to get there and back?
There are sub-factors too--like are the waves good, is the water really cold, is there enough open space to play Triangleball, can I walk over there and win a shitty toy--but those are the main ones. Every beach around here has at least one strong dose of a bad factor, so when you go to the beach it's like this quadratic equation of fun calculation. For instance, the beaches I've been to:



Coney Island Beach (pictured): Close, not very nice, crazy crowded, cheap. (+ - - +)

Sandy Hook, NJ: Far, nice, crazy crowded, moderate. (- + - +)

Watch Hill, Fire Island: Far, nice, uncrowded, expensive. (- + + -)

Jones Beach: Far, kind of nice, crazy crowded, expensive. (- + - -)

All of these beaches are a great time, you just have to know what to expect/how early you need to wake up. Any suggestions for nice/uncrowded/cheap--far or close?

Because it's more fun if you can add math or turn it into a list.

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