The L's Benjamin Sutton runs through the L's listings and elsewhere, all so you can get hammered with like-minded people as A Nation Decides. But a happy kind of hammered, not the scary alcohol poisoning type of hammered like in 2004, if your 2004 election was anything like mine. God, what a bad time for America, the end of which you can celebrate thusly:
2008 Election Night Extravaganza
The Sidewalk Cafe 7:30pm. Political poets CAConrad, Vivian Demuth, Eliot Katz, Frank Sherlock and Nathaniel Siegel read from their work, plus musical performances (including a cover of R.E.M.'s Green) with host Casey Holford.
94 Ave A, at 6th St
Election Night with Dan Rather
92nd Street Y 8pm, $27. Yes! Tonight is the night! Woooo! Watch as the nation either goes down in flames or springs hope anew, with Dan Rather and scores of other political analysts who will pinch you awake if you start to pass out during the returns. Also, snacks and drinks!
1395 Lexington Ave, at 92nd St
Election Night 2008
Union Hall 6pm-12am, free. Watch the returns come rolling in, together, with like-minded (we're assuming) Park Slopers.
702 Union St, at Fifth Ave, B'klyn
UnionDocs Election Night Party
UnionDocs 9pm, $5. Our favorite indie doc house gives the projector a rest, handing things over to DJ Patrick A. Reed for a night of partying, arm wrestling, face-painting, and, of course, result-parsing.
322 Union Ave, at S 1st St
Obama Fabulous Galapagos Art Space Election Party
Galapagos Art Space 6pm, $10. Watch the results, a 14-piece orchestra and the "Yes We Can-Can" can can group, step up to the presidential kissing booth, and get a good word in early with Santa (seriously, he'll be there). And in case you party for your party too hard, a "doctor" will be on hand to write absentee explanation notes.
16 Main St, at Water St
The Tank Election Night Party
DCTV 8pm, free. Co-hosted by Drinking Liberally and Democracy Now, come watch live returns coverage while sipping cheap drinks and chatting with Democracy Now host Amy Goodman's guests as they trickle out of the studios upstairs.
87 Lafayette St, at White St
Chisholm 72: Unbought & Unbossed
IFC Center 8pm, $12. What better set-up for Obama's election than this doc about Brooklyn Congresswoman and 1972 presidential hopeful, Shirley Chrisholm. Director Shola Lynch will be on hand for a discussion to be followed by an election party.
323 Sixth Ave, at 3rd St
Election Night Watch Party
Comix 8pm, free. Hosted by those who'll be protecting us should Republicans pull off an upset, Living Liberally, the ACLU Young Professionals and Planned Parenthood Activist Council host a night of cheap food, drinks, plentiful TV screens and raffle prizes.
353 W 14th St, near Ninth Ave
Election Night Party
Housing Works Bookstore 7pm, free. Come watch the results, contribute to the Housing Works cause by buying drinks, and get your first round for cheap when you bring proof you've voted.
126 Crosby St, at Houston St
Exit Poll '08
Bowery Poetry Club 7pm. In its third electoral incarnation, this year's looks to be the first joyful Exit Poll party at the Bowery Poetry Club, with Downtown East's wildest and bluest partying until they know their next prez.
308 Bowery, near Bleecker
Election Night Trivia at Salon Aleman
New Museum 7pm, $20. Installation/performance artist Eduardo Sarabia brings his traveling Salon Aleman basement bar piece to the New Museum theater for a night of trivia, returns watching and his free limited edition Tequila Sarabia, hosted by comedian Desiree Burch.
235 Bowery, at Prince St
Exit Art Election Night Party
Exit Art 7pm, $10. Midtown West's massive, installation-favoring gallery hosts a night of booze (open bar from 7-9), bands (Ava Luna, Elfin Saddle, Clues from 9 onwards), performance art (by R. Luke Dubois), election coverage, live screen printing, political masks, soup by the Exit Art Soup Kitchen and sweet nibblies.
475 Tenth Ave, at 36th St
The Takeaway Election Night Meet-Ups: Harlem
Terrace in the Sky 8pm, free. Guest contributor and senior editor at Essence Patrik Heny Bass hosts the Harlem portion of The Takeaway's three-pronged election night parties.
400 W 119th St, near Amsterdam Ave
The Takeaway Election Night Meet-Ups: Tribeca
The Bubble Lounge 8pm, free. WNYC news host Richard Hake helms The Takeaway's Tribeca election party.
228 W Broadway, at N Moore
The Takeaway Election Night Meet-Ups: Dumbo
Water Street Restaurant and Lounge 8pm, free. Femi Oke, The Takeaway news host takes charge of WNYC's Brooklyn election party.
66 Water St, at Main St
The Obama Girls of Comedy
Le Poisson Rouge 7pm, free. The Obama Girls of Comedy finish a canvassing tour of battlegrounds with an election extravaganza here in NYC, along with two giant screens of election coverage, appearances by a slew of female NYC-comedians, contests and cheap drinks.
158 Bleecker St, at Thompson St
Obama Pajama Party
China 1 Antique 6pm, $3 (proceeds to Katrina recovery) Drink "sake o'bombas", because Barry O. truly is all things to all ethnicities, "a blank screen on which people of vastly different political stripes project their own views."
50 Avenue B
The Red and the Blue
The Bell House, 7pm, free. Aside from the totes obvs red and blue cupcakes, there'll bupusas, tacos and huarache from the famed Red Hook ballfield vendors, and The Blue Album group performs Weezer's self-titled debut album in its entirety.
49 7th St
A Very Civic Election Night Party
The City Reliquary Museum, 7pm, free. Join the Very Civic Bicycle Ride as it leaves City Hall at 6pm, or just stop by every time a state is called, for either Obamashots of rum and Hawaiian punch, or Red State shot-and-a-beers, depending. Plus July 4th cookout fare "for Recession '08 prices" and Brooklyn beer for donations, all amid the ghosts of NYC's past.
370 Metropolitan Avenue