Monday, September 28, 2009

Republican Hopeful Raffles AK-47 at Campaign Rally, Jesus "Saddened"

Posted by on Mon, Sep 28, 2009 at 12:55 PM

Jesus with a machine gun
I'm not sure* why I post about this stuff anymore, just kind of makes a person sad, but... South Carolina Republican Dean Allen, campaigning to lead that state's National Guard, had a "machine-gun" social on Saturday. For $25, attendees got yummy barbecue, a clip of bullets, and the chance to win a semi-automatic weapon.

And then Angry Jesus came down from the cerulean Heavens and grew to a great and awful height before the cowering Christians and He said, in an enormous, terrible voice as large as the vaulted universe, "Thou hast corrupted My teachings; thou art makers of war and destroyers of peace; thou hast twisted My words and the words of Our Lord, My father, and thou shalt be punished..." And lo they trembled before his wrath, and he turned them gay and made them move to the coasts, where they discovered the pleasures of decent coffee and a night without television, and yea they were happy again, and put down their weapons, and truly began to do His work.

Just kidding.

*Actually, it's just an excuse to post this video from a Al Qaida training session "gun show" in Kentucky, which also makes me sad, but at least has explosions.

Tags: , , , , ,

Comments (3)

Showing 1-3 of 3

Add a comment

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-3 of 3

Add a comment

More by Jonny Diamond

Most Commented On

Most Shared Stories

Top Viewed Stories

Top Topics in The Measure

Film (45)


Music (30)


TV (23)


Art (22)


News (22)


Sex (16)


Media (14)


Books (9)


Theater (9)


Nightlife (8)


© 2013 The L Magazine
Website powered by Foundation