10. Women?! He's definitely not a Republican.
9. He watches way too much Mad Men.
8. Jimmy Fallon must be getting tons, whenever and from whomever he wants. (?uestlove too).
7. Two million dollars is an unreasonable blackmail demand, stick to one million or less.
6. A "towering mass of Lutheran, Midwestern guilt" is a great applause line.
5. Dave thinks sex is "creepy."
4. He's turning into Garrison Keillor.
3. Paul Shaffer needs his mic cut, still.
2. Novelty checks are always funny.
1. He has, in fact, had sex with women.