Monday, February 8, 2010

Illinois Lt. Gov Candidate Drops Out of Race to Spend More Time with His Biceps

Posted By on Mon, Feb 8, 2010 at 10:27 AM

mcgwire-mlb1.jpg
Here endeth the Lieutenant Governor campaign of checkered Illinois Democrat Scott Lee Cohen—accused of domestic abuse, sexual assault and unpaid child support, and an admitted 'roid rager, who announced his withdrawal from the race during the Super Bowl halftime show.

In his few short hours in the political limelight, however, Cohen introduced us to a wonderful new explanation, presumably explaining away all his violent erratic behavior of a few years prior: "I was trying to put muscle on." It's a wonderful excuse, and we would be remiss to let it die out with this poor meathead's candidacy. I'm sure you'll find it applicable in your day-to-day life.

Tags: , , ,

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

More by Mark Asch

  • The Counterlife: Listen Up Philip

    Young Brooklyn filmmaker Alex Ross Perry's bracing, mature third feature is about literature, life, and the moments when they at least threaten to intersect.
    • Oct 8, 2014
  • Boom and Bust: The Overnighters

    A documentary about the impact of the fracking boom in North Dakota gets more personal than it bargained for.
    • Oct 8, 2014
  • More »

Most Commented On

  • 4 Art Exhibits You Need to See

    In which Francesco Clemente appears with Nas and Patti Smith, and in which certain picks are prefaced by anti-picks.
    • Oct 9, 2014
  • The Best Old Movies on a Big Screen This Week

    Brando does Shakespeare, Hou does history, Capra does populism and Georgian cinema re-does Stalin.
    • Oct 8, 2014
  • More »

Most Shared Stories

Top Viewed Stories

Top Topics in The Measure

Film (15)


Art (5)


Music (4)


© 2014 The L Magazine
Website powered by Foundation