Obviously, this is just a really gross story, but not to get too personal with you (it's just me and you, right?) I honestly can't remember the last time I got drunk and felt the need to defecate. In fact, I don't know that I've ever done that. (Again, between me and you) I don't think I have any particular issues with matters of the bowel, but the idea of doing such a thing while drunk seems utterly foreign to me. (Matters of the Bowel... heh, my new rom-com screenplay.)
Also, sorry if you've read this far. Grossest post yet at thelmagazine.com.