- Sometimes, the littlest people have the biggest hearts. But maybe not this guy.
In my constant quest to unlock the frozen seas in your all-too-human hearts, I may have finally found a truth worth telling. You see, dear reader, yesterday was a banner day for height-related Guinness records. In fact, I'd actually go so far as to call it the single greatest day in the history of multi-species measurement: not only were we blessed with news that "Giant George," a Great Dane from a place called Arizona, was the new WORLD'S TALLEST DOG
(because the old one died), we were also told about the WORLD'S SHORTEST MAN
, a Nepalese fellow named Khagendra Thapa Magar.
The dog is 79 inches at the shoulder. The man is 22 inches. But wait, there's more!
Mr. Magar, who is an adult, has not yet been recognized by the Guinness committee, so he's traveling to Italy to appear on television and make his case, as one does. While on his quest, Magar will be calling on the aid of Andre the Giant and Wallace Shawn.
This has been the happiest day of my life, so now I'm going to shoot myself.