The frustrating disparity between the genuine strangeness of Lady Gaga's persona—her clothes, her stage-show, etc.—and the not at all strange nature of her actual recorded music, with subject matter that's all too often completely ordinary, has never been as great as it is here, on the 10-minute-long video for her Beyoncé collab, "Telephone." She's in prison, decked out in a predictably strange (and awesome) outfit, before being stripped to her underwear, which she then dances in, before rocking another predictably strange (and awesome) outfit in the prison courtyard. Then Beyoncé calls, then she's not in prison anymore. Then she's in a car with Beyoncé, where she starts talking about cows and hamburgers and mirrors. Then there's a telephone hat. Then Gaga makes a sandwich. Then I think Beyoncé poisons that handsome Tyrese fella, and apparently a bunch of other people too. Then everyone starts wearing Wonder Woman outfits, and they flee the scene of the crime in their Pussy-Mobile, which, you know, their words, not mine. And the whole thing would be far more enjoyable if the song were about something other than not being able to take a phone call because you get really shitty reception in the club, and how it's really difficult to send a text message with a drink in your hand (which, by the way, it is not).