They also have some majorly buzz-killing news.
According to a new AP-CNBC poll, 55 percent of Americans oppose the legalization of marijuana. When asked why, many noted it was "the easiest way to keep black people in jail".
Just kidding, I made that up.
Breaking it down by age is revealing: 73 percent of respondents 65-and-older oppose legalization, while 54 percent of the under 30 crowd support it. Hey, did you know that if people 65 and older made laws, that no state would allow same sex marriage? But that if people under 30 did, 38 states would allow it?
Or, put another way, old people make the world a worse place by forcing us to live under their bigotry, prejudice and ignorance. Don't trust anyone over 30!