Friday, April 30, 2010

Why I Love Hockey Players: NHL'er Helps Strangers Hours After Heartbreaking Loss

Posted by on Fri, Apr 30, 2010 at 5:33 PM

brooks laich
  • My new hero, Brooks "Wendel Clark" Laich.
I'm sorry, I'm trying not to do too many hockey posts (five a year, maybe?), but this story is so good, and pretty much spells out why I love hockey (and miss Canada sometimes). So, hours after scoring the only goal in his team's shocking playoff series loss to Montreal, Washington Capitals forward Brooks Laich (a good Saskatchewan boy, which is how all males from that province are described) stopped to help a Caps fan and her teenage daughter who were stranded on a bridge. Says the fan, who was wearing a jersey and had actually been at the game:

All I asked him to do was stay with us until the roadside service arrived. And then he’s asking me if I have a spare. Then he’s in the trunk getting the spare out. [...] He just kept saying it was no big deal.

Attaboy, Brooksy.

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In Which I, a 34-Year-Old Straight, White, Self-Loathing Male, Take the "Which Jonas Brother Would You Marry?" Quiz

Posted by on Fri, Apr 30, 2010 at 5:19 PM

kevin jonas
  • My bride to be.
I just had to take this Twitter quiz so I would know which Jonas Brother I am to wed. The answer, this one: Paul Kevin Jonas Jr. (the Latina one?)

"Your such a listener and a romantic Kevin will be the guy for you. You'll talk about anything and everything. and your dates will be remembered forever."

I look forward to dating my new husband, the Latina one.

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How to Mix a Fucking Mint Julep

Posted by on Fri, Apr 30, 2010 at 5:07 PM

Decadent and depraved.
  • Decadent and depraved.
Tomorrow, Saturday, May 1st, is the first Saturday in May. Kentucky Derby day. So put on a ludicrous hat, and get wasted on a genteel, sugary cocktail. (Here's how you mix one.)

The horses in the field for tomorrow's race, in order of predicted finish as judged solely on how awesome each horse's name is:

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MUST READS: John Murray on the Mexican Drug Wars (at The Awl)

Posted by on Fri, Apr 30, 2010 at 4:51 PM

"Bodies would turn up all over the city, bound and gagged and showing signs of torture. Often they were found with a tell-tale yellow ribbon tied in bow around the victim's head: a gift from the cartel."

If you haven't been reading John Murray's fantastic series on the Mexican Drug Wars (over at The Awl), then, well, FUCK. Go, read it.

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The New Republic Is Going About this Online Subscription Model Thing In Exactly the Right Way

Posted by on Fri, Apr 30, 2010 at 4:21 PM

Much in the way that the first hit off a crack pipe is always free, the New Republic, which earlier this month instituted a paywall subscription plan for current and all archival print content (much like Harper's and the New Yorker), has been offering up killer ledes from their archives, certain that you'll be back, wallet open, for more.

Like this one, from Halloween of 1988, in which former New Republic editor (and current New Yorker commenter) Hendrik Hertzberg sizes up the then-imminent next Vice President of the United States, Dan Quayle:

Despite his pee-pants performance in the Omaha debate against Lloyd Bentsen, it looks as if Dan Quayle, 41, will be president one of these days. Consider the politico-actuarial probabilities. Assuming the Republican lead endures, the junior senator from Indiana will be elected vice president. This alone will give him an even chance of becoming president. Three out of the last five presidents were vice president first. Seven out of the last ten vice presidents have ended up heading a national ticket, and four (five if you presumptively count George Bush) got all the way to the Oval Office. Of this century's vice presidents Quayle's age, all became president. Admittedly, the sample is small: T. Roosevelt, vice president at 42 in 1901, and R. Nixon, vice president at 40 in 1953, Still, makes you think, doesn't it?

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The Spirit of the Red Hook Food Vendors Reborn in Open Air "Mercado"

Posted by on Fri, Apr 30, 2010 at 3:51 PM

street food
It was a drag a few years ago when the city, in its infinite wisdom, decided to crack down on the 30-year tradition of the Red Hook food vendors (you know, open-air grills featuring Mexican street food in Red Hook Park...) forcing them to upgrade to food trucks (which, booo!) or go home.

Well, good news. The Red Hook "Mercado" is set to open on May 15, on private land, and will feature all the open-air delights that always made the trip down to the Hook worth it, plus a bunch of crafts and produce and other stuff. You know, like a Latin American mercado. The new market will be on Van Brunt Street between Coffey and Van Dyke.

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P.S.1's Name-Change and Proposals for Five Other New York Museums' New Names

Posted by on Fri, Apr 30, 2010 at 3:27 PM

Yesterday, on the occasion of the 10th anniversary of their partnership and following the Greater New York exhibition announcement, MoMA and P.S.1 Contemporary Art Center announced (via the Times) that the former would hereafter be known as simply "MoMA PS 1"—for a total savings of 19 characters. This, of course, has been what the old public school and former non-profit art space has had emblazoned on its outdoor mural since opening in 2000, but the official name-change liberates us all from having to go through the awkward mouthful "P.S.1 Contemporary Art Center" followed by an explanation of its MoMA affiliation. If only some of the city's other museums could adopt such tweet-able names.

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Watch the Cast of American Idiot Perform "Holiday" on Letterman

Posted by on Fri, Apr 30, 2010 at 2:55 PM

"I think this will be fun, lively, and all-around entertaining," said David Letterman just before the cast of American Idiot performed "Holiday" on his show last night. No such luck, though. Unless you're really into the dopey, mugging and over-acting that's required of all Broadway actors, even those who look like they were styled by the manager of your local Hot Topic. And am I the only one who thinks they don't even sing it very well? Or are they just being punk? God, it hurts. Ew, yuck, cringe, etc.

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NYC Leads Nation in Production of Jaded, Entitled, Prep School Jerks

Posted by on Fri, Apr 30, 2010 at 2:23 PM

prep school
  • Josie and the Doughboys
Shocking. Five of America's ten best prep schools are in New York (based on Ivy League acceptance rates, cocaine tolerance and access to liquid cash, among other things). So, in order, here are the high schools in NYC at which a year of education costs more than my entire four-year college degree: Trinity School (1), Horace Mann (2), Brearley (4), Collegiate (7) and Spence (9) (Dalton staggered in at number 13). So there you go, Tea Partiers, the Northeastern elites will continue to rule over you, forcing you to read Claire Messud, listen to Yo-Yo Ma, and eat truffles.

P.S. On a personal note, in the heartwarming vein of "dumb-ass public school boy does good," my wife went to Spence. And yes, she's smarter than me (but I can beat her in an arm wrestle).

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Fox 5 Anchor Would Really Like to Drink "Soy Jism"

Posted by on Fri, Apr 30, 2010 at 1:57 PM

Wow. This is awesome. Fox 5 anchor Rosanna Scotto, in talking about whether or not soy products have the right to use the term "milk," straight-up demands some "soy jism." Enjoy.


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First Batch of Northside Bands Announced!

Posted by on Fri, Apr 30, 2010 at 1:40 PM

So here's a thing I'm actually more than happy to tell you about today, even despite all the birthday festivities and just generally wanting to be anywhere but in front of my computer because, holy shit it is so nice out: The Northside Festival is happening again, (June 24-27, at music venues and art galleries all throughout Williamsburg and Greenpoint), and we've just unveiled the first batch of confirmed bands. I don't know which one I'm supposed to list first, but because anyone who knows me knows how much I like the 90s, I'll just go ahead and do it like this: Polvo. Fucking Polvo is playing the Northside Festival, along with bands like Liars, Fucked Up, Memory Tapes, Titus Andronicus, Les Savy Fav, Wavves, The Fiery Furnaces, Islands, the 8 NYC Bands You Need to Hear. (yes, that includes Twin Sister), Thao Nguyen with Mirah, Real Estate and Woods, with plenty more to be announced in the coming weeks, most of which are being booked by our highly esteemed lineup of showcase presenters—you know, the Brooklyn Vegans, BAMs and Free Williamsburgs of the world. Badges are on sale now for what we think is a quite reasonable $50. Stay tuned—to our Twitter, our Facebook, the festival site and/or the site you're on right now—for more details.

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Colin Meloy to Write Young Adult Novels and Other Stuff I Don't Really Care About

Posted by on Fri, Apr 30, 2010 at 1:30 PM

Is it me, or is this shaping up to be a super boring day on the internet? I do not care to write about Colin Meloy's new book deal (a road we've been down once before), or about the terrible Kele Okereke song I wisely slept on when it surfaced a couple days ago, or about how John Lennon's handwritten lyrics to "A Day in the Life" are expected to fetch almost a million dollars at auction this summer, or, honestly, even about Lala shutting down. It's nice out, you see, and it is Friday, and it's our seventh birthday, and even though I'm working from home so that I can help look after my two-week-old daughter, I'm mostly just waiting for someone (Jonny?) to email me and tell me when I'm allowed to open up a beer. (Or, you know, take the kid for a walk.)

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Tribeca Film Festival Dispatch: Open House

Posted by on Fri, Apr 30, 2010 at 1:03 PM

Open House, an irredeemably nasty home-invasion film, revels in throat slittings and belt beatings. To what end? None, beyond that its repugnance reflects its emetic sexual politics. The debut for director Andrew Paquin, whose highest-profile credit to date was a producer on Renee Zellweger rom-com New in Town, the movie serves as a cautionary tale about the sexual self-realization of the female. The Hurt Locker’s Brian Geraghty stars as David, the unsmiling and doe-eyed facilitator of black widow Lila (Tricia Helfer), who likes to be secretly filmed fucking her prey before (literally) stabbing it in the back. (This might seem like a statement on voyeurism, but it’s not.) The couple, the nature of whose relationship remains ambiguous for much of the movie, has taken over the on-the-market house belonging to Alice (Rachel Blanchard), who spends the bulk of the movie held captive in a basement crawl space, like a secret pet the boyish David is hiding from his stern mommy. Though he was supposed to, David has kindly neglected to kill her, in contrast to her quickly dispatched biffle (played by director’s sister Anna; brother-in-law to-be Stephen Moyer also turns up for a quick death—it’s true[ly] blood[y]!)

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Watch Random YouTube Videos at

Posted by on Fri, Apr 30, 2010 at 12:31 PM

After about three minutes on I was directed to this video of a man in a wig and dress singing the words of a book by the late American anarchist philosopher Terence McKenna. Thanks,! (TheDailyWhat)

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Hey, Today's Our Birthday (And in Unrelated News, a Very Bad Day for Old New York)

Posted by on Fri, Apr 30, 2010 at 12:02 PM

the old L
  • We were much younger then.
It was exactly seven years ago today that L Mag publisher Scott Stedman, sales captain Steve Hoyt, and little ol' me jumped into a cube van at about 5:30am and drove off into to Manhattan to distribute the very first issue of The L Magazine, wrestling with thousands and thousands of slick new issues (it was a lot like dealing with a wheelbarrow full of young trout, if you know what I mean). Yup, that's how innocent we were, reveling in the hands-on, "man of the people" satisfaction of a hard day's work, getting in touch with "the street"—now we have interns to tie our shoes.

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New Band of Horses Video: "NW Apt"

Posted by on Fri, Apr 30, 2010 at 11:38 AM

I know I'm almost an entire day late with this, but a new Band of Horses video hit the internet yesterday, for the song "NW Apt," from their forthcoming third full-length (out May 118h), and I'm sorry, but I just got around to watching it a little while ago. It's quite good, too—my favorite of the four album-tracks we've heard so far.

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Who Wouldn't Wear Skee-Lo's Classic Track "I Wish" in T-Shirt Form?

Posted by on Fri, Apr 30, 2010 at 11:19 AM

I wish the folks at Threadless would approve designer C D S's latest idea for a shirt already: a charticle version of the chorus from Skee-Lo's classic track "I Wish" (embedded after the jump, for good times). For those of you watching from someplace where you can't blast vintage nerd-hop (you wish), that's: "I wish I was little bit taller/I wish I was a baller/I wish I had a girl/who looked good/I would call her/I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat/and a '64 Impala."

Skee-Lo I Wish T-Shirt

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Watch These Portland Hipsters Line Up To Be Shot With a Cupcake Cannon

Posted by on Fri, Apr 30, 2010 at 10:51 AM

Cupcake Cannon
So Johnny Cupcakes is an LA-based cupcake bakery with a very indie aesthetic and such a devout following among hipster-ish types, especially on the West Coast, that they are currently on tour. During a recent stop in Portland at Kamp Grizzly, local engineer Tyler B. Robinson—whose day job is as a Saturday morning cartoon villain—designed a steampunk cupcake canon (of course!) with which to shoot goggled visitors for a slow-motion camera. The resulting footage (embedded after the jump), even taken in context, is completely, bizarrely spectacular and delicious. It's like watching Jackson Pollock make a drip painting, except the painter is a canon, the paint is cupcakes and the canvas is people. Very similar, really. (RxFresh)

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Sirk's Magnificent Obsession Is Obsessive, Magnificent

Posted by on Fri, Apr 30, 2010 at 10:25 AM

Magnificent Obsession plays 11am matinees at IFC Center today, Saturday and Sunday as part of their "Good Meds, Bad Meds: American Health Care on Film" series.

Sirk’s poker-faced take on widow wish-fulfillment, a grocery store fantasia—playboy Rock Hudson falls for wife of man he killed, studies, cures her uncurable blindness in bare-chested operation—starts in death, ends in salvation, and updates a medieval mythology of efficacious grace into the apostatic 50s of luxury condos and kultchah, with uneasy overtones of capitalist will-to-power: a full-grown stereotype of moonlit joy rides, canted California beachlight, Swiss oompahpah, the world’s best optometrists in labcoats, a hidden desert valley in Arizona that exists only for a hospital that exists only as the bedspring of recovery—emotional and physical—for our cut-out protagonists. Like Sirk’s great films to follow, it doesn’t really make sense, except emotionally.

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So, About Christina Aguilera's "Not Myself Tonight" Video

Posted by on Fri, Apr 30, 2010 at 9:55 AM

You know, I actually really admire Christina Aguilera for straying from recent trends and not even bothering to attempt incorporating anything resembling a storyline into the S&M-themed video for her new single, "Not Myself Tonight." But if there's one thing to complain about, aside from it being an obvious Gaga ripoff, of course, it's the clumsy, tasteless product placement (2:16-2:23) of Christina's own brand of perfume, which she applies just moments before sexing up some dude. (Also possibly worth complaining about is the part, during said sexing up of dude, at 2:49 when dude is on all fours and she's riding him like a horse. Do people do that? Why would people do that?)

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