Friday, May 21, 2010
Music Unknown Local Musician Wears Terrible Hat, Hates Hipsters
Posted by Mike Conklin on Fri, May 21, 2010 at 1:58 PM
“We’re battling hipsters for the quote-unquote underground rock scene. Ninety-five percent of ‘American Idol’ winners that you hear on the radio — that’s not even part of the battleground here.”It’s not a violent revolution, mind you; Banerjee’s weapon of choice is the guitar, his ammo chord progression, song structure, and “music you can sing along to.”
“I don’t advocate violence, because I don’t hit men with glasses, even Day-Glo orange ones,” said Banerjee.
For most of us, this goes without saying, but here's the saddest part of all this: They're not actually battling hipsters for anything. They lost. Those guys always lose. The ones who pride themselves on being rock and roll lifers, the ones who wear shorts on stage and send out press kits with 8x10 glossy photos, the ones who complain about the cool kids simply because they're not among them, the ones who make lame, outdated generalizations to lame, outdated media outlets in hopes of getting a little bit of attention. Well, here it is. It won't lead to anything, though. It never does.
Correction: It appears the man in the terrible hat is not Banerjee, but Paul Collins, who I guess I shouldn't have called a no-name, because he was in The Nerves with Peter Case, which is actually really cool and will presumably make him stand out like a sore thumb.
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Ha! That's fine if you want to defend your fellow hipster scum. I can totally understand that. But the ultimately folly is writing a music column without knowing shit about music. Why am I surprised by this considering it's L Magazine? Once again, the fact that pretenders run the show is illustrated.
Well, clearly I didn't make this any easier on myself, but here goes: No, I didn't know Paul Collins. I've never been much of a power-pop fan. I don't love the dB's, I rarely listen to Cheap Trick, and I think the best thing Peter Case ever wrote was not a Plimsouls song but "Blue Distance" from the far more alt-countryish Flying Saucer Blues album. Accordingly, I don't have a whole lot of interest in the present-day revivalists of the sound. So no, I didn't know Paul Collins and I'm mostly ok with that.
It also doesn't change the fact that Mr. Banerjee's quotes are inflammatory and that the entire thing reeks equally of sour grapes and desperate self-promotion. Carry on, though.
But Mike, didn't John Lydon build a career out of that same thing? Wasn't he first noticed by Malcolm McLaren or someone when he was wearing an "I Hate Pink Floyd" T-shirt? Is this any different? And, more to the point, didn't you just lavish praise on Lydon for his own inflammatory remarks?
Also, I already know the answer to this, but did you even listen to Mr. Banerjee's music? Despite iffy vocals and iffier production (where the hell did he record, in a crawl space?), his songs are actually REALLY good. More Elvis Costello '77-'78 minus Nieve than Plimsouls/dB's/Cheap Trick.
As for you, Jay, if that first post really is from you, or even if it isn't...best comment ever.
You know, if this dude just started saying shit like, "I really hate Animal Collective, and I think it fucking sucks that everyone's trying to sound like them," it'd be one thing. I'd be in favor of that -- and not because I happen to feel the same way, but because, to continue with your Lydon/Pink Floyd thing, it would be attacking a particular thing that he sees as problematic. Instead, he's railing against this stupid *idea* of a hipster, with the day-glo sunglasses and the beard and the noodling -- like I said before, it comes off like sour grapes. And worse, it really just isn't particularly funny or observant. And then you add the dopey, jokey threats of physical violence, and the whole thing starts to seem not only incredibly lame, but also totally boneheaded and douchey.
And as for your other question, which you seem to think is some big "gotcha" type moment: No, I didn't listen to his band, and I'm not even the slightest big ashamed to admit it. This has nothing to do with the songs he's written -- it's about a bunch of things he said in a public forum. So no, still haven't listened to his band. Perhaps I will, but probably I won't.
Also, really? THAT is the best comment you've ever seen on the internet?
Sensitive much? Apparently someone can dish it out but cannot take it.
You should be a little ashamed to be so willfully stupid and pathetically reactionary.
And the notion of a music editor digging in his heels about checking out the music of someone that he wrote about is an absolute scream. Keep 'em coming, funnyman!
i have a polite and respectful suggestion to you, mike. you must have invested 10 minutes in that last reply, so take the next 10 minutes to listen to jay's songs - http://www.facebook.com/greatmusic
i'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you can approach this with an open mind, ok? actually listen to his music and (especially) lyrics. if you think he sucks, come back and say, "he's a terrible songwriter" and that's it. i, for one, wouldn't have a viable comeback to that, and i don't think anyone else would, either, because you're a music critic. this post will then die a quiet death.
(three points of dubious relevance: [1] i know jay and he's a complete sweetheart. [2] it's actually not a band you're listening to, since jay does everything himself in the studio. [3] lydon and the punks were kneejerk anti-hippie and anti-hippie stereotype and often talked about strangling the hippie masses in their flowing locks. the difference is, jay's making it clear it's all in good fun.)
right now, though, you're like an art critic saying "i didn't look at his paintings, but i hate the name of his exhibition and i hate the fact that he's flaunting his opposition to current trends, so screw him, and shame on the renowned art gallery that's hosting his work. and you know what else i hate? HIS HAT! (correction: it appears the guy in the hat is actually leonardo da vinci.)"
quote:
right now, though, you're like an art critic saying "i didn't look at his paintings, but i hate the name of his exhibition and i hate the fact that he's flaunting his opposition to current trends, so screw him, and shame on the renowned art gallery that's hosting his work. and you know what else i hate? HIS HAT! (correction: it appears the guy in the hat is actually leonardo da vinci.)"
I don't like Mike Conklin very much after reading this article and his comments, but I still hope his health insurance covers the treatment for that third-degree burn.
As a self-identifying hipster (I self-identified before it was cool), let me offer my take.
I don't pretend to speak for all hipsters, but...dude, it's just the name of the event. Get over it.
Other people have said this more cleverly than I will (like koc), but how does a music editor at a notable local publication justify criticizing someone without listening to his music? The part that kills me is that instead of even talking about the music, which BTW I've just heard for the first time and is not my thing, but he definitely has talent for what he does, you were so paralyzed with hatred for that hat that you almost devoted the entire article to it.
Is there a vacancy in the fashion section that you're gunning for? What was your thinking? "I'm giving myself 15 minutes to do this article. In that time, I could listen to the music so I can arrive at an informed opinion, or I could just talk about that hat. I hate that hat. That guy doesn't look 27, but I guess it must be that hat."
I don't care if you respond to this post but I hope you respond to koc, since he/she nails it.
Mr. Conklin, simply continue to write articles on Justin Bieber and the newest Twilight soundtracks. It'll do wonders for your credibility.
I believe Mr. Banerjee is the one who's responsible for making this about something other than music, right from the get-go. He's just flaunting his opposition to current trends, you say? What trends are those? People having beards and wearing day-glo sunglasses? What does that have to do with music? You guys can accuse me of cheapening the discourse and of not doing my job all you want, but all I did was follow his lead, and then not give him the one thing he wanted to get from all this, which was to have people talk about his music. Notice I didn't even link to it. Why would I give him the satisfaction?
Also, honestly, do you people think that throughout all this, I *actually* didn't listen to his stuff? God.
Still, though, it's beside the point.
It's pretty obvious that you didn't *actually* listen to his music. For one thing, the only place you can hear it is on his myspace or Facebook page since he hasn't released anything, and those sites have a giant picture of him on them. And the demos he's printed up have his picture on them as well. Since you didn't know that the picture of Paul Collins wasn't Jay, your "cover-up" is pretty transparent.
Oh god, yeah, you got me. Or I wrote the initial post without listening to it, then finally got around to listening this afternoon. Please give the conspiracy theories a rest. I've been quite clear about my opinion that this has nothing to do with his music and thus have no reason to lie about it.
well, here's the irony. if you did listen to jay's music, obviously you must have not completely disliked it, because it would have been the easiest thing in the world for you to say, "not only does he have a terrible hat, wear shorts on stage, and send out 8x10 glossies to media outlets [editor's note: okay, it turns out none of this is true], but he also has zero talent." even if you listened after posting the article, you could have trashed his tunes in the comments.
you know better than anyone that attacking his music would have stood your arguments on much firmer ground. or ground, period. you wouldn't have had to link to it. you could have just said "it sucks". and you didn't. and the only logical conclusion is, you know it doesn't.
by the way, paul's hat rules.
Mike -
In all seriousness, please answer this:
Why would you allow yourself to get so worked up over a harmless show on a weeknight at Southpaw? You wrote a piece that does yourself a disservice - you judged a guy (wrongly) by the way he dresses and you talked about everything but music.
And your comments are not doing you any favors either. You admitted that you let your discourse be dictated by the tone someone else set.
You can clearly dish it out, but when people called you on your nonsense you got as whiny and petty as you claim the powerpop guy did by starting a night that he gave a somewhat funny/somewhat clueless name to.
Maybe you're having a bad week or maybe you're not as good as you think you are. That's up to you to admit.
If you're in it for the long haul I hope this is a one-time occurrence because otherwise you don't have what it takes.
So you have never heard 'Hanging on the Telephone'? Some unknown band called Blondie covered it...
Mike, I know you're reading this, as are many others. I realize you probably have better things to do that evening, but let it be known that I'm giving you and two guests complimentary passes to Hipster Demolition Night. You don't even have to acknowledge this offer beforehand. It's done.
We're all aware of Paul Collins and my band at this stage, so let me get in a word for the other no-names: The Above (young locals who played The Bowery Ballroom on a recent Saturday night) and The Split Signals (the new project of Jonny Chan, best known for his solo material on legendary garage imprint Dionysus Records). There will also be free cookies at this violent hate rally.
I want you to enjoy the music and have a good time, but failing that, I at least want the two of us to meet, shake hands, and put our differences aside.
I'll even buy you a drink. PBR, I presume?
Mike, the only thing that reeks of sour grapes, among other things, is your article.
Wait, I thought it was disco demolition night. When was that scheduled for? Who's playing?
@thatisall.
ha. totally. he's just another hipster faggot who gets NO PUSSY.
@c-hawk
tell me about it. his article is the only thing that reeks of sour grapes, except for those other things you allude to that reek of sour grapes.
@ladybree
what an asshole, right? he didn't even know that Paul Collins drummed on the original version of "Hangin' on the Telephone" that Blondie eventually covered. clear lack of hipster cred.
@DaftMeat
I thought this article was explicitly intended as a review of Jay Banerjee's music, not his book. but what do I know?
@jaybanerjee
You, sir, seem to be the only non-moron on this thread, for which I commend you.
Jonny Diamond,
You have rightfully included yourself in the moron column. Well done.
Mr. Conklin,
From a purely journalistic standpoint, your "article" is appalling.
As a reader, I want to know about the bands on the 'Hipster Demolition' bill. It's an interesting concept, I think, and you could have at least interviewed members of the groups.
Instead you just wrote an "article" full of your skewed opinion... AND you fact checked nothing.
Weak, Mr. Conklin. Weak indeed.
Damon
Jay, not only is your hat terrible, but your t-shirt has gone through one too many rinse cycles in the washing machine. Now, do I get on the guest list too?
Mike, this article is a disgrace. You obviously don't know what's it like to be a band in NYC. It's not easy. Of course Jay is self-promoting - bands need to promote themselves!! And we do it any number of ways: by coming up with funny names for nights that will get people's attention among them. We need to stand out somehow. And why on earth would you go out of your way to tear apart a night someone worked hard to put together?? Isn't there plenty of music you like that you can write about? Really, us musicians work so damn hard and the last thing we need is a music critic (I use that term loosely) lashing out at us - especially when it's not even about the music! Also, you showed your total lack of professionalism by putting up a picture of Paul Collins and saying it's Jay. You don't need to know what every person in the world looks like but can you take three seconds and perhaps fact check before posting? Good god.
I am not in Jay's band but I do know him and know how hard he works. There's really no excuse for this stupid bullshit of yours. In the end though, your article really only helped him out because we all know all press is good press. But you are a class A asshole.
On second thought I think we should all ease up on Mike a bit. He's clearly a guy who is forced to post ten times a day and he decided he'd make something out of nothing.
The guy doesn't care either way about the show he ripped. Him writing about that show was the same as someone in an office filing a report. Mike is on a frustrating treadmill. Let's all take a little pity on him because music is fun for us. But for him it's a boring job. Imagine what it must be like to feel like that.
Jay Banerjee gets more pussy than Conklin and Jonny Diamond. And Jonny Diamond strangely enjoys referring to himself and the aforementioned Conklin in homophobic, pejorative terms.
@thatisall.
Thanks. I think you're cute, too. Does this mean we're friends? (I think I might be in the wrong "chat room.")
Mike, you lose automatically for basing music criticism based on someone's sartorial choices. Plus this is Paul Collins, someone you found out was in a band that mattered. The L Magazine is entertaining, but your music section is crap. A Robyn Hitchcock gig was seen as a lesser choice because "He's old". If you don't want to be called hipster douche bags, then intellectual bankrupt writing like the Robyn comment needs to cease. Bands like the Soft Pack and The Whigs have made me rejoice as when I heard both it was a refreshing burst of real rock and roll, unlike most of the bands you fawn over. The way you write about music belies no historical context, so you may as well revere the Jonas Brothers.
@ Philthy
We here at The L Magazine have no problem with being called "hipster douche bags."
Also, there was no actual "music criticism" in this post.
@ Jonny
you are a self-proclaimed hipster faggot. Therefore, you don't get to have the last word. Stop commenting and go away. Leave us real people alone, so we may rightfully trash this abomination your shitty magazine passes off as a music article.
thank you all so much, i really needed a good laugh and this article reminds me of why L magazine is so incredibly funny: it's the posingest magazine in all of new york city!
i'm glad i slept through the farce that is the 'northside' fest last year and turned down your pathetic mag's requests to book garage rock shows for it. yep, you heard right! this ridiculous, two-faced rag actually sought us out and begged us to book several garage rock bills with bands like the ones playing thursday at southpaw!
Nothing, and I do mean nothing, is remotely cool or interesting about this glorified out-of-towner/NYU zine. If you're reading this, try reading pretty much anything else to get a better idea of the new york music scene -- the bathroom wall, the menu at vinnie's, maybe your local polish laundromat's sign... anything!
Conklin! Check your facts! Do your job next time. Bannerjee - win. Conklin - major fail.
Shame on YOU, Mike Conklin. Besides revealing yourself to be completely uninformed, you seem to be quite deficient in humour. One can only surmise your motivation for firing off that badly written little jumble of vitriol.
"Hipster Demolition Night" seems to have rattled your cage in a manner reminiscent of a neurotic hipster becoming rattled and uncomfortable when confronted with something altogether real or funny. Jay Banarjee is playing some real music and I personally really like it.
As far as Paul Collins (now correctly identified).. I wish that criticizing his hat in an article that defends hipsters was a self effacing joke or perhaps some neatly wound irony...unfortunately, I think you JUST simply don't have much else to SAY.
Jay Banarjee is at least interesting. Besides being a nice guy and a real New Yorker, Paul Collins is a talented musician with plenty of street cred. Maybe you'll be wearing that hat this time next year, douche.
So, here's the fight card so far: The L Magazine vs. Garage Rock. "Hipster Faggots" vs. "Hipster Demolitionists." Mike Conklin's Shoes vs. Paul Collin's Hat. Snoozefest Northside vs. Sleepy Shimmy. Out-of-Town Posers vs. Authentic New Yorkers (that outta be good). Fact vs. Opinion.
I think we should throw down. (And no, the dagger-sharp rhetoric of this particular comment thread doesn't really count. And yes, technically, I do get to have the last word, at the very least to try get the number of comments to 50.)
I love you guys.
Something worthwhile or interesting to say versus nothing to say?
Is that the only card L magazine is holding? ..A neatly organized and unimaginatively formatted fight card masquerading as commentary?
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