- This is the "Lindmon," and it's coming for your children.
If you bought window shades or blinds at Ikea between 1998 and last summer—and let's face it, you almost certainly did, because since it came Red Hook, every time two young Brooklynites born 1978 or later move in together they have to go to Ikea for furnishings, it's a rule—you should know that Ikea is recalling 3 million sets of blinds
following an incident in which an 18-month-old boy was nearly strangled by one of the cords.
So please, take your Ikea blinds back to Ikea, before they strangle your kid like the vines in Evil Dead. (Do you have kids, or did it not work out with the person you went to Ikea with to furnish your new place?)