Thursday, June 24, 2010
Books Fun with Oblivious Bad Writers
Posted by Mark Asch on Thu, Jun 24, 2010 at 1:33 PM
- Christ, can you imagine this freak dropping a manuscript off at your office?
And yet, in spite of all this, there are some submissions that are so astonishingly misconceived that one has literally no choice but to fwd them to all one's coworkers with a pithy can-you-believe-this-shit introduction. So we're very amused by SlushPile Hell, in which an anonymous literary agent posts excerpts of oblivious pitches from bad writers. Such as...
"My 318,000 word novel may seem like it starts a little slow, but after the first 100 pages or so it really picks up steam, so I hope you will be patient and not be distracted."
And:
"I hope all is well with your business, nowadays. Indeed, books & media are an economic past-time today so I expect you are taking advantage of that angle of the biz."
And:
"I want an agent who’s confident to get me a 7 figure book deal or high 6 figure deal, not some bull crap deal."
And so on and so on. Man, times like this I'm so glad that every single person who's ever submitted to Literary Upstart has been polite and self-aware enough to briefly introduce themselves and their submission with minimal flourish, and to thank us for reading.
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