To judge from his Twitter
, Sylvester Stallone has nearly as much trouble moving his fingers as he does moving his face, but he was recently coherent enough to announce plans
for a "director's cut" of his current hit The Expendables
, which he directed, co-wrote, and starred in, in the role of a guy who jumps into moving planes, gets tattoos for fun on Saturday nights, and turns down hot righteous island babes to spend more time riding choppers with his bros.
The Expendables is such a second-marriage stag-weekend fantasy that its end credits actually really do play over "The Boys Are Back in Town"; as such, I'm having a hard time imagining what the unfettered directorial vision would look like, unless it's going to end with a literal circle jerk this time. Be afraid, America—be very afraid.