Aside from an incredibly dopey performance by the always incredibly dopey Linkin Park, last night's VMAs featured basically nothing that even so much as resembled rock music. This, I now realize, is because the best mainstream rock music had to offer in 2010 was this "Kings and Queens" song by Jared Let's 30 Seconds to Mars. This is what happens, apparently, when Green day doesn't release a record. Sad days, people.