- That looks like a cake but I don't think it's a cake.
To the surprise of no one who has ever marveled at the fleet-fingered city teens who maintain most interpersonal relationships remotely, the Daily News reports
: Brianna Hendrickson, an 8th-grader from East New York who sends 6,000 texts a month, won the National Texting Championship, earning a $50,000 prize (do you know how many books that won't buy?!?) by composing a verse of "Old McDonald" in a single minute, the fastest in the competition.
In other news, a different Brookyln 8th grader won the National Sexting Championship, as a naughty self-portrait she sent to a boy was circulated to the entire student body of three area middle schools in a single minute, the fastest in the competition. She didn't win any cash, but now every other girl in her school thinks she's a slut, so she's got that going for her, anyway.