- Rachel Weisz, no longer constipated in her fucking soul.
Normally, Jonny is on the "classy British actresses finally splitting with their bloated hack auteur husbands" beat
, but finders keepers: The Hollywood Reporter
is, um, reporting
that Rachel Weisz and Darren Aronofsky
are divorcing after nine years of inexplicable union.
According to unnamed sources, the papers cite "bludgeoning cut-rate Kubrick look-at-me film-school savant technique and fatuous opportunistically 'extreme' subject matter" as the grounds for divorce.