We’re back for another week of horse-poop jokes, hipster riffing, and lame Arcade Fire references, all thanks to 2 Broke Girls, the only show on TV not afraid to "tell it like it is." Below are the most ridiculous quotes and clunkers, some of them Brooklyn-centric, from episodes two (last week) and three (last night), and we’ll be back every Tuesday morning with a recap of the best double entendres Michael Patrick King and Whitney Cummings, or King Cummings for short (it’s like a 2 Broke Girls joke!), can dream up of.
#5. “No need to yell, he’s a champion.”
“Yeah, champion stink bomb. It’s smelling pretty ripe out in that yard.”
“That’s not Chestnut [a horse they keep in their "yard"]; that’s Brooklyn.”
“OK, well, I’m watching the champion drop some steaming hot Brooklyn right now.”
Guaranteed, there’s going to be an EP called Steaming Hot Brooklyn recorded by a local band before the end of the year. Also, be sure to check out the Parents Television Council website for their take on last week’s episode, which they called the Worst TV Show of the Week. I hate the fact that I agree, albeit for very different reasons.
#4. “Max, that oven is so hot. Could you do me a favor and open the backdoor?”
“We’ve known each other two days and you’re already asking for backdoor?”
This is the ultimate CBS joke. It’s vaguely risqué (I wonder how many grandparents waiting for Two and a Half Men to come on were confused by it—“see, Grandma and Grandpa, backdoor is a reference to anal sex”), but any edge the show might have had is destroyed during the next scene, when a horse walks into Max and Caroline’s apartment.
#3. “It’s getting hot in here, so leave all that Strokes t-shirt drama behind.”
Sung to the tune of Nelly’s “Hot in Herre.” The drama in question involves a Puerto Rican girl (a tough-talking, incredibly stereotypical Puerto Rican girl, of course) stealing a Strokes t-shirt from Kat Denning's shopping basket at the Goodwill.
#2. This isn’t a quote, but I just want to point out that one of the show’s recurring jokes is the name of the children that Max baby-sits for: Brad and Angelina.
This just isn't very funny.
#1. “If I were going to go lesbian, she’d be the last lez I’d be in.”
I’m putting this at #1 because it’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.