Today, I am moving from Greenpoint to Ditmas Park, and I’m feeling kind of sad. Ditmas Park is Bored to Death territory—Greenpoint and Williamsburg are where the real action’s at, obviously, and I’m afraid that 2 Broke Girls will start throwing in references to goings-on near the L that I just won’t understand anymore. When hip new bands like The Black Kids and foods like cupcakes are all the rage on Bedford Avenue, will that translate over to Cortelyou Road? Only time will tell.
#5. “Men will come sooner or later.”
“According to my research, most men come sooner.”
I’m officially ashamed of my penis.
#4. “Oleg, from now on you may call me Countess Max of the Fabulous Cupcakes.”
“And you may call me Sir Oleg of the Amazing Party in My Pants.”
Damn, I just realized I should have been Oleg for Halloween. I would have sexually harassed EVERYONE. Later, Sir Oleg said, “Once you go Ukraine, you will scream with sex pain.” He ain’t talking about the Ukraine’s notorious sex slave industry, either. Is he?
#3. “Right. Like we’re going to come back and spend time with these Robert De Nir-hoes.”
The end of the episode oddly dovetailed into a subplot about Max and Caroline learning to make flower toppers for their cupcakes from two simply awful Italian women. It seems the show isn’t content with just hipster-bashing anymore; it's an equal no-opportunity program.
#2. “I love this place. It looks like Paris in the ‘20s.”
“More like poseurs in their 20s.”
It’s exactly like Paris in the 1920s. Gertrude Stein wrote all of her best work on a laptop! (I also guarantee the original joke was, “More like the 1820s,” before the writers remember the show’s premise.)
#1. “[The cupcakes] were bugging me. I decided to take the night off.”
“Be careful with decisions like that. In 1987, I took a night off from Earth, Wind, and Fire, and the next day, they Earth, Wind, and Fired my ass.
That setup is just awful, and the joke isn’t original, either. If you Google “Earth, Wind, and Fired,” you get over 30,000 results, with a top pick of Earth, Wind, and Fired, Ltd., who specialize in “objects dé art.” 2 Broke Girls: as clever as an online handcrafted glass jewelry shop.