We’re covering both last week’s episode of 2 Broke Girls, “And Hoarder Culture,” and last night’s, “And the Really Petty Cash,” in this post, but there’s something I want to bring up first: 11.4 million. That’s how many people watched “Hoarder Culture” last week. To put that into perspective, the best episode of the third season of TV’s best sitcom, Community (let’s not talk about the midseason schedule news, OK?), only roped in 3.78 million viewers. Going further back, the season finale of the best season of any sitcom ever, season five of The Simpsons with “Secrets of a Successful Marriage,” was watched by less than 10 million people. Think about that: in a way, 2 Broke Girls is more popular than The Simpsons.
#5. "We can't just bail out of our first big job. If we do, people will think we're flakes, and that'll spread faster in Williamsburg than knit hats and herpes."
The writers are still really bitter about the Herpes Avenger, aren’t they?
#4. “What is Johnny doing here at 3 a.m.? I thought it was a rapist or something.”
“Rapists don’t knock and wave. And if they looked like that, we wouldn’t call them rapists; we’d call them JOHNNNNYYYYY.”
I enjoy the “…or something” after thinking it was a rapist. Obviously that’s your first thought in the seedy borough of Brooklyn, and the “or something” could refer to something fun. “I thought it was a rapist…or a clown!” “I thought it was a rapist…or the guys from this hip new band I keep hearing about, the Black Keys.” Also, I’m guessing there are some rapists named Johnny out there.
#3. "I also learned she's a dancer, her lip-gloss is from Kiehl's, and she's school chums with Adele."
"Not THE Adele? Dammit, could she be any cooler?"
First off, Max wouldn’t be a fan of Adele (unless she completely misunderstood the meaning behind “Turning Tables”), and since when is Adele the epitome of Brooklyn coolness?
#2. “I was hired to organize some papers, not to clean up Katrina.”
Six years later, still not really that clever.
#1. “Max, stop hoarding your feelings.”
Last week’s episode was Hoarders-themed. Hoarders dates back to 2009 and is now in its fourth season. That’s reason one why this quote never should happened. Reason two: later on, some half-wit says, “He’s the one who’s hoarding women.” TWO, COUNT ‘EM TWO hoarding metaphors. The only reason I didn’t want to kill the first Brooklyn-based waitress I saw after watching the episode was that there was a Ryan Gosling reference. Always topical.