Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Last Night on 2 Broke Girls: It's a Semen-Covered Christmas

Posted By on Tue, Nov 22, 2011 at 12:11 PM

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It’s Christmas time in 2 Broke Girls’ Brooklyn, even though there are still two episodes left to air before December 25 and it’s not even Thanksgiving and Kat Dennings is Jewish. Max and Caroline decide to get a part-time job working in a department store as elves to save up money for a new mixer, even though the one they have already is fine. The show’s gift to us all: forced plot points.

#5. “I stayed at the Waldorf Astoria once. Beautiful hotel. $50 for a hamburger. For that money, it should eat me first.”
2 Broke Girls is finding ways of keeping the action away from the diner (like having most of this episode set in a department store), which isn’t such a bad thing. The worst aspect of the show — even more so than the outdated jokes, forced Brooklyn’isms, and hipster bashing — are the racist caricatures working at the restaurant, from Han to Earl to Oleg, who said this little ditty above. This specific quote isn’t racist, no, but it doesn’t make any sense, especially because it was written by Michael Patrick King and the Waldorf recently offered customers a “Sex and the City Package.”

#4. “Oh my God, look, they’re hiring elves. Why would I go to the dark side when I could go to Santa World? Let’s go get in line; I’ve always loved Santa World.”
“Me too, as a David Sedaris story, not as an actual real-life option.”

Crumpet the Elf? More like Grumpet the Elf!!! *SEDARIS FIST BUMP*

#3. “OK, I didn’t want to tell you this, because it’s gross, but the last elf who had the tights they gave me, let’s just say her little lady elf friend visited unexpectedly.”
“Ew, talk about a period costume.”

I... I just don’t know sometimes. It was either this line or one about Caroline saying something about keeping her hands in her muff and not realizing the sexual nature of the expression.

#2. “No, Max, they should know. There is no miracle on 34th Street and it’s not such a wonderful life.”
“In fact, you’re all I don’t want for Christmas, and I want to be home alone, by myself. Because no, Virginia, there is no Santa Claus and it didn’t happen one Christmas, because someone stole it away from me. Ghostbusters II.”

#1. “Christmas comes but once a year, and I think it just did.”
See photo above. No explanation needed.

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