Last night, CBS gave us the greatest gift of all. No, not just airing two episodes of 2 Broke Girls, one new (“And the Pop-Up Sale”) and one old (who cares), which they did, and which is actually more punishment than present; rather, the last new episode of 2 Broke Girls for the year aired! Yay! So, without further delay, let’s head into 2012 with some knowledge, Oleg-style.
#5. “Don’t tell me what to do. I was working here when you were still a dumpling on your father’s chopstick.”/ “Maybe I will send TwitPic of my meatloaf.”
Damn, there goes my love of dumplings and meatloaf. Thanks, Oleg.
#4. “There’s only one tool that can change my ‘tude, but I’m going to do need two double A batteries and a twenty-minute break.”
She’s talking about the General Tools 500 Cordless Ultra Tech Power Precision Screwdriver, right? Funny, I thought that ran AAA batteries.
#3. “I roll Fast and Furious, Tokyo Drift-style.”
I also noticed references to the Lord of the Rings, Ratatouille, and A Beautiful Mind, which I guess means that the writers haven’t seen a movie since 2007. I can’t wait to hear how they incorporate The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 into their next episode.
#2. “When I was a little girl, I was trying to make a Hungry Man dinner and lit the pilot light too soon, and whoosh, no eyebrows. I had to draw them on with magic marker. Only Mexican girls would talk to me.”
I think CBS knew that this episode was a particularly bad, racist, unfunny, pun-filled one. (And bad by 2 Broke Girls standards is realllllyyyy bad.) It aired out of the show’s normal time slot, on a night when many other series had the evening off (including normal lead-in, How I Met Your Mother). I think CBS made the right call.
#1. “Your English is terrible.”
“My English is as terrible than your terrible English.”
“What? I couldn’t understand a word you said.”
“What? I’m sorry. I couldn’t understand a word you said.”
Yep, I’m almost 100% sure that Han actually said, “...as terrible than your...” All I want for Christmas this year is for 2 Broke Girls to be cancelled. I’ll fill the cultural gap left behind by praying to the Black Kids and attending ALL the Arcade Fire shows across the street and making all the rape jokes. If anyone’s listening out there, please?