Friday, March 30, 2012
Food & Drink 5 April Fool's Day Prix-Fixe Menus (Not From New York's Finest Restaurants)
Posted by Cathy Erway on Fri, Mar 30, 2012 at 11:30 AM
Repeat, these are NOT the real menus of any restaurant in New York City, least of all those mentioned below. But, if we were to play April Fool's Day and mess up their menus, here's how some of them might read. Just a little farce for the foodie soul.
The Back Forty (let it be known as the Back Fifty by our Yelp listing today), may be a pioneer of the farm-to-table movement, but today we're taking off the kid gloves and bringing in the middlemen of the conventional food system! It's a $10 all-you-can-eat buffet of the above.
We've made a killing by fondly recalling our instant ramen days from college, but what about the instant soup packets so many of us throw out nowadays? This goldmine of unused MSG is the inspiration for tonight's meal.
It's Buddha's Delight Night! Instead of our usual barbecue, we'll explore the smokey, spongey character of seitan thanks to Brooklyn's own artisanal Friendly Vegan Seitanery! The Friendly Vegan Seitanery (FVS) folks will even be on-hand to illustrate how it's okay to not be a vegan and still eat meat, while getting it all over the same plates used by your roommate. Just try one taste of our non-GMO, hormone-free seitan and you'll never want to eat meat again!! EVER!
Forget all that you've heard: tonight, Roberta's is the least cool restaurant on the earth. Get seated right when you arrive and without a stare from the locals squatting here for a meal just like at everywhere else!
Today's shopping mall of Italian food and paraphernalia will be overhauled and stocked instead with the much superior food of France! Get your toques, crepes, cruets, and jamb-on! Let us indulge your senses with that je ne sais quois that nobody else on earth knows. Oops, did we say “buerre”?
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