“And the Messy Purse Smackdown” ends not with a smackdown between two messy purses (insert Oleg joke here), but with Max HEROICALLY filing her taxes on April 15th, just SECONDS before deadline. It was thrilling, chilling, and suicide pilling, as in I wanted to kill myself when Max got an entire post office to assist putting together her W-2s. It was kind of like The Silence of the Lambs, but actually not at all.
#5. “I save all my hot sauce for her breasts.”
Just think: there’s someone out there who’s really proud of that line.
#4. “Last year I was taking meetings on Wall Street. This year, I'm eating meat on the street by a wall.”
One of my biggest complaints about 2 Broke Girls — and boy are there many — is how you can see a joke coming from awhile away. Nothing ever happens organically or feels earned. Obviously, it’s a sitcom, so there should be a decent amount of one-liners (though one every 10 seconds isn’t necessary), but the set-ups are just awful. We’re supposed to care about Max and Caroline as people, but when they’re given lines like the one above, recited in a way that no human actually speaks, it’s tough to give a shit. Also: In [year], I was [this thing], but [this year], I’m [something that rhymes with or reworks “this thing] is a lazy joke. Always and forever.
#3. “No, I’m not Kim Kardashian. I work for a living.”
Kim Kardashian jokes are to TV writers what Nickelback cracks are to music journalists. They’re just too easy – kind of like Kim Kardashian!!!!1!
#2. “I haven’t done this much last-minute licking since the cops raided that Thai massage parlor.”
Max is very referring to stamps. Stamps, people. I haven’t seen heard such a desperate punchline since that street meat one.
#1. What a particularly apt metaphor for the show as a whole: