1) Geraldo Breaks His Nose
This is kind of a sad one — only because Geraldo doesn’t really do anything to deserve a broken nose here — other then inviting a bunch of skinheads to sit next to a black guy and probably hoping that a fight breaks out. Amazing moment at 2:27 when Geraldo, beaten and out of breath, actually does a formal sign-off to a commercial. What a pro. Throughout all this the moustache seems unperturbed, almost amused, definitely calm.
2) Geraldo is Kicked Out of Iraq For Being an Idiot
The comments section really explains it all for this one. The clip shows Geraldo speaking to soldiers in this faux-chummy way that will make you feel weird. Watch as he interrupts a soldier’s answer to a question about IEDs to show off a huge mural with his face on it. That’s not why he got kicked out of Iraq, though. The Pentagon “expelled” him from the warzone after he “compromised operational information by reporting the position and movements of troops” on live television. Moustache here looks moist and incredibly smug — but the star here is his leather jacket.
3) Geraldo Loses It on Bill O’Reilly For No Reason
Try to make it through this one. If you do, you’ll probably watch it three to ten times. Back-story: a drunk-driving illegal immigrant killed someone in Virginia Beach. Bill and Geraldo are debating whether this is a drunk-driving issue or an illegal immigration issue — because this is cable news and it has to be one or the other. The debate makes no sense at all, and like all great senseless debates, ends with the parties screaming at each other. Amazing finger-pointing here as the moustache hangs on for dear life. It ends with O’Reilly explaining to Geraldo that the viewers at home can decide which of them is right — because this is cable news and one of them has to be right.
4) Geraldo Blue-Balls America
Primetime Geraldo. On April 26, 1986, thirty million people tuned it to watch “The Mystery of Al Capone’s Vault,” a two-hour special with 90 minutes of speculative hype about what they’d find in the vault, 28 minutes of commercials, 30 seconds of Geraldo finally opening it and finding nothing inside, and 90 seconds of credits. It was a huge embarrassment that made Geraldo rich and famous — a common thread throughout these clips. Moustache here looks better than it ever did — young, idealistic, full of life, naturally colored.