Well, joke's on you! People are savvy in the dating game these days, and while studies indicate that college graduates are much more likely to have successful marriages, it turns out no one is interested in taking on your insane amounts of student loan debt. We are all so, so alone.
Now, the WASP in me would ask why anyone is divulging this much about their dark financial secrets so early on in a relationship - are we animals? Didn't anyone teach you to keep these things safely bottled up until you've tricked someone down the aisle?
Nevertheless, here we are. The killing floor of modern dating is reportedly littered with relationships that were broken off because one party was turned off by the other's admittedly unappealing amounts of educational debt.
Legally speaking, marrying someone does not make you ultimately responsible for their debts, but some experts still recommend signing a pre-nup, just in case. And even if you're not saddled with it, owing hundreds of thousands of dollars to Sallie Mae just might make it a little harder to, say, ever buy a house or send your own kids to college. So this does make some sense.
Armed with this massive dating handicap, some singles have now taken the terrifying approach of finding partners with equally staggering amounts of debt, so at least they don't feel like the sole irresponsible party.
Truly, is there any greater equalizer than crippling debt? Oh right, crippling loneliness.