Sometimes it’s difficult to know who’s on OK Cupid to find love or get laid. Adding to that dilemma are all the weirdo profiles: the art project, the cat lover, the hipster-with-gun, and all the obviously fake profiles. How’s a girl or boy to get some if there’s all these obstacles in the way of happiness? Well, I’ve been scouring OkCupid for days, picking out all the weirdo profile trends and art projects. Now you’ll know what to avoid while you’re surfing the interwebs, looking for that special someone to make your genitals all warm and gooey. Stay true to your goals!
1. OkCupid Cat Art Project
Look, if all you’ve got on your profile is a Photoshopped cat head, then you don’t really want to get laid. At the very least, you’ve got to let people know that you have two arms. Or that you’re into being a furry.
2. OkCupid “Conceptual” Art Project
It’s a nerd thing: sdfsdf means “I’m testing.” Like a lot of conceptual art, you’ve got to know the rules of the game before you can get it. And now that you know what it means, you can move onto the next eligible OkCupid-er.
3. Not an OkCupid Art Project—just a hipster with a gun.
That’s a hot pink tank top, you’ve got there. Don’t even pretend you’re tough, you big teddy bear hipster.
4. Not an OkCupid art project—just a fat dork with a gun.
Imagine this guy on top of you, and all the dirty things he’ll want to say to you, his comic book fantasy girl. He wants to get laid—not an art project.
5. The “Only I Understand What I’m Talking About” OkCupid Art Project
If he’s trying not to fuck anyone, he’s doing a good job at it.
6. The “Not a Real Person” OkCupid Art Project
This is a common art project: all you have to do is make a profile for someone who would NEVER log into OkCupid. Yawn.
7. Not an OkCupid art project—just a net artist.
Mind you, that smoke plume comes from an e-cigarette. And that “blue screen of death”-colored shirt and neck pillow scream net art. LOL.
8. Not an OkCupid art project—just a performance artist wannabe.
Performance art is all about disguise, but you’re not fooling anyone that you’re an old man. Try some prosthetics, little missy!
9. The OkCupid “My Body is Art” Art Project
“Look at my tats and my ass!” is another common OkCupid art project. #scary #trampstamp
10. Not an OkCupid art project—or an art critic—but he thinks he is.
He’s not an art critic just because he once told his long-winded goth friend that she wrote a story about herself. Whoop-dee doo! He gave advice, like friends do.
11. Not an OkCupid art project—just an artist.
He says he’s an artist, and he perked up his profile with one of his own paintings just to prove it. It’s safe to say that with this much bravado about his role as that mythical creature of artist— like wanting to get on the cover of Artforum—he does crave female attention.