Friday, July 27, 2012
Food & Drink / Special Events Your Handy Guide to Drinking During the Olympic Opening Ceremonies
Posted by Lauren Beck on Fri, Jul 27, 2012 at 12:31 PM
1. Anytime Bob Costas mentions a country that you can't locate on a map: take two sips
2. A prince or a Middleton is shown: take one sip; two sips for Pipa
3. There's a shot of one of these cycloptic Teletubby creepsters: two sips; five sips if there's a subsequent shot of a child crying
4. If Victoria Beckham is caught on camera smiling, even robotically: finish the drink in your hand
5. If a cow or sheep just stands there eating grass when it's supposed to be doing something other than standing there eating grass: take three sips
6. If this supposed game of cricket gets mad boring, go ahead and take a few sips to help pass the time.
7. If someone gets a bloody nose in the faux-Glastonbury mosh pit: take five sips
8. If in an interview with Michael Phelps mother, she mentions being proud of him: take two sips
9. Whenever this Downtown Abbey thing happens: keep it elegant and raise your glasses for a toast
10. A billion people are expected to watch tonight, which is something bound to be brought up by NBC newscasters repeatedly: one sip per mention
11. Anytime the Beatles, Adele, Rolling Stones, Duran Duran, Blur or The Kinks are played: take one sip
12. If Costas mentions how Team USA's Ralph Lauren threads were manufactured in China, oops: finish the drink in your hand
13. If the torchbearer who ignites the cauldron is a John Lennon hologram: chug a beer
14. If Olympic organizers' worst fear is realized and the cauldron doesn't light: go ahead and finish off the bottle
Go team!
Follow Lauren Beck on Twitter @heylaurenbeck.
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