Oh, jury duty. Every seven years or so, I remember you exist and curse you. Eight in the morning is a bit early for civic duty, if you ask me. I recently served, and was pleasantly surprised to find out that they have wifi now, and also to be reminded that you get a full hour for lunch. A whole hour! Just to eat! And no desk to sit at while shoving something in your face. Where to spend this luxurious stretch? Allow me to suggest:
1. Shake Shack
Shake Shack! They're everywhere now, including a nice big one right across the street from the court house. I've heard people bitching that this Shake Shack isn't as good as the original Shake Shack, but I think those people need to seriously reconsider how much Shake Shack they are eating. That can't be good for you.

2. Vegetarian Ginger
Yes, it sounds like the off-brand version of Wild Ginger, but it was actually very good, if you like vegetarian Chinese-American food (I do!). And, the lunch special is $5.95. That is no fucking joke. There are like 15 items to choose from, plus you get a soup or salad. For a sit-down place! Less than $6! Unbeatable, practically.


4. Yemen Cafe
Yemen Cafe is the Middle Eastern food spot. I used to go to Waterfall Cafe, but apparently they have new management and suck now, so don't waste your time, you dummy, go to Yemen! People say to get the lamb but I don't eat land animals so I can't say from personal experience. If you have extra time, you can pop into Sahadi's to get stuff to make for dinner. A whole day's food taken care of during "work."

5. Chip Shop
Okay, Chip Shop is getting to be a little bit of a walk, but you've got that whole hour. And what makes an afternoon of judging your peers go by faster than some fried stuff and a British beer or two? I'm sure your fellow jurors will appreciate you coming back smelling like fish oil and malt vinegar. Yum. And if you're the kind of person who can resist a deep-fried Mars bar, I'm not sure I want to know you.