Last night marked the first live TV interview of America's recently dethroned Master of Sleaze and Skeeve in over 20 years. So that's what that special feeling in the air was while walking home from work. Here I thought it was the crisp fall air. To promote Guns N' Roses upcoming 12-night residency at, of course, the Hard Rock in Vegas, we were treated to the deep three-word monologues of frontman Axl Rose in response to Jimmy Kimmel's tempered questions. It was a good night for America and all that we stand for—corn, burgers, holiday traditions, VHS tapes, sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll—especially when the merits of the democratic voting process were boiled down to "meh." In case you missed it, CliffsNotes version follows:
1. Axl tends to be late to social engagements and these types of things, but he was right on time to the set of Jimmy Kimmel Live. Can you believe it? Jimmy can't.
2. Axl hitchhiked to L.A. at the age of 19. It went fairly well.
3. He was once the cool manager at Tower Video on Sunset who hired all his friends and let them drink beer after work. His time there was short-lived. He's since shrugged it off.
4. He and Izzy made a show flyer for one of their first bands called Rose. "There living fast and they'll die young!!! See them now!" it proclaims. Those were the good ol' days of uninhibited grammar rules and loose distinctions between "they're," "there" and "their."
5. Axl is a big fan of Halloween trees and has one in his home, much to the wonder and dismay of small children. Similar to Christmas trees, these (usually faux) conifers are dyed black with orange streamers and Halloween-themed ornaments adorning the branches. Gifts are placed at its trunk.
6. He was a giant ear of corn for Halloween once. It was an inside joke with the guys in GNR, we'll never understand.
7. It's cool if a child is named after him, unless he once knew the child's mother intimately.
8. His cornrows period coincided with the time he dressed up as an ear of corn. Double corn.
9. Sometimes there is business that needs to be attended to during shows—for instance, finding out which song should be played next—which is why Axl had a habit of running backstage in the middle of a song in GNR's heyday.
10. Axl is pretty much leaning towards Obama, but he'll probably just let the rest of California make the call.
11. There is a guy named Bumblefoot, who has an interesting beard, in GNR now. He joins the current ranks with DJ Ashba, Richard Fortus on guitar, Tommy Stinson on bass, Frank Ferrer on drums, and Chris Pitman and Dizzy Reed on keys.
12. Just like Santa, Axl comes bearing gifts, bringing the audience and Kimmel crew gift certificates to Tommy's Burgers, whose truck is parked out front. By this point in the interview, he's suddenly become a very difficult person to hate.
13. You can never wear too many rings on your fingers. Go ahead and just pile 'em on.
Follow Lauren Beck on Twitter @heylaurenbeck.