Friday, October 26, 2012

The 25 Best Cannibal Cop Headlines

Posted by on Fri, Oct 26, 2012 at 11:37 AM

cannibalcop.jpg
Yesterday, when news broke that a police officer had plotted to abduct, cook, and eat up to 100 women, New Yorkers everywhere wondered, "how does something so horrible happen?" "I wonder what the headlines on the Post and Daily News will be tomorrow?" And then a nanny went and stabbed two small children. Cannibal cop didn't even warrant a mention on the News' front page; he got a small mention at the very bottom of the Post's. But, you know, if one terrible thing happened per day in New York, here's a smattering of the Internet's best ideas for headlines, culled from New York magazine, JimRomenesko.com, Gothamist, and their comment sections, as well as some reporter friends on Facebook.

Continue reading »

Tags: , , , , ,

Your Weekend at the Movies with an Auteur Threeway

Posted by on Fri, Oct 26, 2012 at 11:00 AM

Before this biopic, Cloud Atlas was known as the perfect specimen of 20th-century man
  • Before this biopic, Cloud Atlas was known as the perfect specimen of 20th-century man
Cloud Atlas: Unlike, say, in hip-hop, where mega-star-producer-guest team-ups are expected and encouraged to top each other, there's something a little bizarre when auteurs get involved in the same movie. Though I love The Life Aquatic and Fantastic Mr. Fox, it's hard not to keep myself from attempting to parse out which lines came from Wes Anderson and which came from cowriter Noah Baumbach. The movies feel like Anderson in the end, of course, and I'm tickled by the idea that two strong writers would so enjoy each other's company (and come up with Steve Zissou as a result), but there's something strange about a pair of strong writing voices layered over each other. That would appear to go double, or at least plus 50 percent, for Andy and Lana Wachowski, already a two-person filmmaking team, adding in Run Lola Run's Tom Tykwer for a tri-writing, tri-directing, ampersand-heavy credit. Look at the Matrix trilogy or Speed Racer and tell me how a whole third person is supposed to fit into that vision (for better or for worse; mostly, I say for better).

Continue reading »

Tags: , , , , ,

Louis C.K. Loves Old Ladies at the New York City Center

Posted by on Fri, Oct 26, 2012 at 10:30 AM

This is not a picture from last night, but this is exactly what he looked like so dont worry.
  • This is not a picture from last night, but this is exactly what he looked like so don't worry.
Last night I saw Louis C.K.'s new show at the New York City Center. It was—get ready for this—very funny. I know! The center itself is huge, nearly 3,000-seats, and it was packed. Going in, my companion spotted James Murphy, looking fuzzy and adorable in a big beard.

John Mulaney opened, which was a lovely treat. Who doesn't love John Mulaney? He was, perhaps, a bit too self-effacing. "Don't worry, I'm not here to see me either." Guy, this Thursday 10 o'clock show sold out the day after it was announced. I think it's safe to say the house is packed with comedy nerds.

In fact, I think I got some of the last tickets, because I was in the second to last row. The rise is dizzyingly steep, and both performers were so foreshortened they looked like pink toothpicks jammed into the stage. Still worth it! Louis came out after a very short opening set, chiding people for arriving late. "You could've done better. You missed John Mulaney and he was funny as shit."

Louis started with a long, very funny thing (I refuse to say chunk, that is just gross-sounding) about how he connects with old ladies. The theme of the evening seemed to be aging and the aged, including Louis himself. "Anyone that I'm not looking at right now might be dead." I'm not going to attempt to explain any of the jokes, because a. that is never funny and b. you probably want to just see it for yourself.

He was interrupted at one point by yelling in the front. Someone yelled shut up, loud enough to be heard all the way up in the faraway seats, so Louis stopped the show to mediate. "Did the usher leave?" he said. "I think an ejection is in order." When the audience applauded, he shushed us. "You aren't helping." He settled a dispute between someone who was mad about someone else talking, and the talking person, who had threatened to fuck him or her up. "So he said he'd fuck you up? No, I'd be upset too." I've never seen a loud talker up front NOT get ejected, but Louis helped them through it and everyone got to stay. ("So are you both okay? Please don't chat during my show. People come here to see me talk, and you are kind of interfering with that, when you are talking at the same time.") If this is how he is with his kids, he's a great dad.

The show proceeded, ranging from more old lady talk, to a long part about tit squeezing that involved the universal one handed tit squeeze gesture, to what it is like to live in a 45-year-old body. He closed with a meditation on murder that was so funny I almost barfed laughing. I know I promised not to attempt to joke-explain, but my favorite line of the night was: "I think the law against murder is the #1 thing preventing murder."

In the quick but effective encore, there was a moment where he seemed like maybe he was going to say something racist, and you could hear the entire audience being like NO DON'T RUIN IT, then what he said was the opposite of racist, and everyone laughed and applauded. Whew. Some people tried to give a standing ovation, but Louis didn't stick around to see it. How someone can do two shows in a night back to back like that and still sound so spontaneous is beyond me. He's a pro.

Tags: , , , ,

Lena Dunham Endorses Obama, Proves That We Live In "Fallen, Depraved World Destined for the Fire"

Posted by on Fri, Oct 26, 2012 at 9:30 AM

lena-dunham.jpg

I'm not sure if you knew this—I certainly didn't—but apparently in this part of the Bible called Romans I, you can learn that when "God turns a people loose the first sins they embrace are the sexual lusts of the flesh." Scary. I guess? Anyway. The only reason that I know about Romans I and the horrors of sexual lust and our imminent fiery demise is because Lena Dunham made a video endorsing Barack Obama and encouraging people to vote. And this video has made a lot of conservatives very, very unhappy. So unhappy that some of them, like conservative writer and radio host Erick Erickson, tweeted that "what's worse than the Obama ad is that some people really do like it. We really do live in a fallen, depraved world destined for the fire." Destined for the fire? That sounds so dramatic. And hot. But what could be so bad about this Obama ad starring Lena Dunham that it would have people up in arms? Well, sex. In her endorsement, Lena Dunham makes some coy allusions to virginity. So, obviously this means that the sexpocalypse is coming.

And now we're all falling into a burning ring of fire.

Continue reading »

Tags: , , ,

Scary Movies 2012: Long Lost Wes Craven Classic Screens This Weekend

Posted by on Fri, Oct 26, 2012 at 9:00 AM

deadlyblessing.jpg
Deadly Blessing (1981)
Directed by Wes Craven

This classical slasher, released 15 months after Friday the 13th, evokes that foundational film: a killer stalks a community, picking off its members in gruesome ways, terrorizing others. The only difference is we're not at summer camp: we're in a rural farming community, majority "Hittite," who "make the Amish look like swingers." They don't even use tractors—except for murder?

Continue reading »

Tags: , , , , , ,

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Key Points from the Axl Rose Interview on Jimmy Kimmel Live

Posted by on Thu, Oct 25, 2012 at 2:27 PM

Last night marked the first live TV interview of America's recently dethroned Master of Sleaze and Skeeve in over 20 years. So that's what that special feeling in the air was while walking home from work. Here I thought it was the crisp fall air. To promote Guns N' Roses upcoming 12-night residency at, of course, the Hard Rock in Vegas, we were treated to the deep three-word monologues of frontman Axl Rose in response to Jimmy Kimmel's tempered questions. It was a good night for America and all that we stand for—corn, burgers, holiday traditions, VHS tapes, sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll—especially when the merits of the democratic voting process were boiled down to "meh." In case you missed it, CliffsNotes version follows:

1. Axl tends to be late to social engagements and these types of things, but he was right on time to the set of Jimmy Kimmel Live. Can you believe it? Jimmy can't.

2. Axl hitchhiked to L.A. at the age of 19. It went fairly well.

3. He was once the cool manager at Tower Video on Sunset who hired all his friends and let them drink beer after work. His time there was short-lived. He's since shrugged it off.

4. He and Izzy made a show flyer for one of their first bands called Rose. "There living fast and they'll die young!!! See them now!" it proclaims. Those were the good ol' days of uninhibited grammar rules and loose distinctions between "they're," "there" and "their."

Continue reading »

Tags: , , , , ,

Your Weekend Guide to Bushwick Art Shows

Posted by on Thu, Oct 25, 2012 at 1:53 PM

Tournament of Values and Feminine Tears, production of Agape Enterprise. (Photo courtesy of Agape Enterprise).
  • Tournament of Values and Feminine Tears, production of Agape Enterprise. (Photo courtesy of Agape Enterprise).

If you’ve ever thought about taking the Bushwick gallery tour, this weekend is the time to do it. Bushwick’s currently offering some solid net art, a baby retrospective, a Dickchicken show, and a few exhibitions of underrepresented artists.

Continue reading »

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Join Brooklyn Dating, Get 25% Off the Membership Fee

Posted by on Thu, Oct 25, 2012 at 1:45 PM

BrooklynDating_300x250_v3.jpg
If you're single and hating it, leave it to your friends at The L Magazine to help. We're teaming up with How About We to launch Brooklyn Dating, a service that will help change online dating and find you the Brooklynite of your dreams. We'll send you dates every week, you'll pick your favorites, and you're set! Just confirm the details, and go! So get off your laptop, (or your iPad or iPhone or iPod or whatever) and go fall in love.

And for a limited time, we're offering 25% off the membership fee. Just enter the code BKDating2012 at checkout. To get started, just click here.

Tags: , , ,

Billy Idol Is Now Available For Birthday Parties

Posted by on Thu, Oct 25, 2012 at 1:41 PM

idol.jpeg
Everyone knows that even the most untouchable famous people are generally willing to show up at birthday parties, bar mitzvahs, and weddings of strangers, as long as they're being paid well enough. Beyonce even played for that dictator's New Year's Eve party one time. Beyonce. And a dictator.

The point is, anything can happen, and now none other than Billy Idol is officially in the game, after one man's two-year-long campaign for him to sing at his birthday party.
The story is equal parts weird and sweet.

Continue reading »

Tags: , ,

Art Picks From Print

Posted by on Thu, Oct 25, 2012 at 1:11 PM

Head shot of Mary Carlsons monstrous Big Blue, currently on view at Studio 10. Photo courtesy the artist.
  • Headshot of Mary Carlson's monstrous Big Blue at Studio 10. Photo courtesy the artist.

Masterworks, monstrosities and implicit herpetologies are not lacking in this series of art picks from the current issue of our pleasurable paper.

Continue reading »

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Introducing Hyperreality, or, A New Series Featuring Awesome Nightlife .Gifs

Posted by on Thu, Oct 25, 2012 at 11:10 AM

signe


Hey guys, my name is Signe Pierce and I'll be doing a new feature over here at The L showcasing the best .gifs from the past two weeks. I run a blog called Hyperrealitv which blends the electricity of art and nightlife in NYC with the hyperactivity of digital culture. With it I've tried to create a way to capture the life of the party without losing its energy. .Gifs, it turns out, are the perfect medium. To kick off the series, here are a few greatest hits from the archives to get you acquainted with what it is that I do. Hope to party with you soon!



All .Gifs Signe Pierce



Continue reading »

Tags: , ,

Win Tickets to See Smashing Pumpkins on 10/31!

Posted by on Thu, Oct 25, 2012 at 11:00 AM

pumpkins.jpg
We're giving you the chance to win a pair of tickets to see Smashing Pumpkins on Wednesday, October 31 at the Barclays Center! Entering to win is easy:

1. Follow @thelmagazine on Twitter.

2. Tweet at us to let us know why you want those tickets!

3. Use the hashtag "lmagsmash"

You have until midnight on Sunday, October 28 to enter. We'll announce a winner on Monday, October 29. Good luck!

Tags: ,

Ha: CNN Pulls Hormonal Lady Voter Story

Posted by on Thu, Oct 25, 2012 at 10:45 AM

All that is left of yesterday's CNN story about how ovulating women vote more progressive because they feel "sexier" is this sad retraction:

Post removed: Study looks at voting and hormones

A post previously published in this space regarding a study about how hormones may influence voting choices has been removed.

After further review it was determined that some elements of the story did not meet the editorial standards of CNN.

We thank you for your comments and feedback. [CNN]

As tiresome as "the person or news outlet says awful thing/internet outrage pileon/apology or non-apology" cycle can be (I think we can all agree to never talk about binders ever again), it is pretty glorious to see once-mighty founts of stupid news brought low by hashtags. A half day from publication to unpublication is pretty good, internet feminists. If only our hashtags could vote.

Tags: , , , ,

Scary Movies 2012: The Gory, Deranged Maniac Remake

Posted by on Thu, Oct 25, 2012 at 9:30 AM

maniac2012.jpg
Overwrought is too weak a word to describe this bloody and unhinged remake of William Lustig's 1980 cult classic. Directed by Franck Khalfoun (P2) and cowritten and coproduced by Alexandre Aja, the movie is shot almost entirely in the first person; like 1947's The Lady in the Lake, the hero is only glimpsed in mirrors. We also hear his trembling mutterings or anxious dialogue. Elijah Wood stars as that title character, one very different from the one he plays on Willard: a schizo killer and scalper of women who freaks out, trashes rooms, screams, kills, hallucinates, has flashbacks, and suffers blinding migraines.

Continue reading »

Tags: , , , , ,

Smashing Pumpkins with Big Dance Theater

Posted by on Thu, Oct 25, 2012 at 9:00 AM

ichkubergeist1.jpg
  • Paula Court
Near the end of our chat, Annie-B Parson asked me why I thought it was important to talk with artists about their creative process. Whether she intended it, I sensed some resistance in the question, a resistance I think she shares with other artists and that I, as a playwright, have felt, too. I think it's good for certain aspects of a process to be inarticulate or unarticulated. Not because it preserves a romantic notion of mystery or prevents people from having access to the work, but because there is such a drive in our culture to tabulate and quantify and dissect every thing that we do—and much is lost in that process. A great deal ends up being oversimplified or made overly complex when we insist on getting the arts down in words or numbers. The inability to put it into words, the failure of language alone, is precisely why we so often turn to the arts for other modes and means of expression.

Continue reading »

Tags: , , , , ,

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

3 Things We Learned From This 1998 Video Of Kanye West

Posted by on Wed, Oct 24, 2012 at 4:08 PM

kanye-1998.jpeg
  • Egotripland
With pretty reliable frequency, old pre-fame videos (or pictures) of celebrities surface on the internet, reminding us that all of our culture's false gods were, once upon a time, occasionally-awkward try-hards just like the rest of us.

Today's contribution is from Kanye West, lurking in the back of Ma$e's Harlem World entourage in this clip from 1998 (below). It's a delightful trip down memory lane on its own, but there are a few particularly key take-aways:

Continue reading »

Tags: , , ,

Live: Divine Fits Stick Around

Posted by on Wed, Oct 24, 2012 at 1:00 PM

DV2.jpg

Did we mention that we're really into Divine Fits? Oh, we did, like a million times already? Well, its true. So it was a distinct pleasure to catch the band last night in the snug confines of Manhattan jazz club Drom, at a party thrown by Buzzfeed's recently launched music section. With band members too famous to ever need a "playing little bars"phase, small club shows were always going to be a rare bonus. But it seems as if the Fits would be content just hanging out forever, popping up Springsteen-style in dive bars to drink beers and play svelte rock covers. Last night, Dan Boeckner still had fresh cellophane on his arm from a tattoo he received upstairs ahead of time (which might not actually provide 100 percent fresh ink protection from wild rock n' roll flailing).

Continue reading »

Tags: , , , , ,

Cirque du Pina: Like Moss on a Stone at BAM

Posted by on Wed, Oct 24, 2012 at 11:30 AM

likemossonastone.jpg
  • Stephanie Berger
The choreographer Pina Bausch can break your heart. But in this, the last show she created before her death in 2009, she wants—wanted—to make us laugh. Structured like a Cirque du Soleil show, "...como el musguito en la piedra, ay, si, si si..." features clownish, punchliney, often surreal group interludes ("this is my fish, and I want to teach it to walk. Not swimming—walking!") that punctuate the larger set pieces—not acrobatic feats but dance numbers. It feels like everyone in Pina's troupe, the Tanztheater Wuppertal Pina Bausch, has a personal showcase in this show, not unlike in Wim Wenders's 2011 documentary.

Continue reading »

Tags: , , , , , ,

Richard Mourdock, Another Republican With Awful Things to Say About Rape

Posted by on Wed, Oct 24, 2012 at 10:00 AM

mourdock.jpeg
Oh my god, what is it with these guys? Richard Mourdock, up for a senate seat in Indiana, said DURING A DEBATE that he thought pregnancies resulting from rape were god's will. At least he understand that they're scientifically possible?

Indiana Republican Senate candidate Richard Mourdock said Tuesday when a woman becomes pregnant during a rape, "that's something God intended."

Mourdock, who's been locked in one of the country's most watched Senate races, was asked during the final minutes of a debate with Democratic challenger Rep. Joe Donnelly whether abortion should be allowed in cases of rape or incest.

"I struggled with it myself for a long time, but I came to realize that life is that gift from God. And, I think, even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that it is something that God intended to happen," Mourdock said. [AP]

I can't say I'm surprised that these guys think this garbage, it's that they feel comfortable saying it out loud during campaign events that terrifies me.

Tags: , , , , ,

Interview: Is Julia Loktev Antifeminist?

Posted by on Wed, Oct 24, 2012 at 9:00 AM

julialoktev.jpg
With only a documentary and two narrative films to her credit, Julia Loktev has nonetheless established herself as one of the most talented American directors of her generation. Her first feature Day Night Day Night followed an ambivalent suicide bomber around Times Square. Her second feature, The Loneliest Planet, continues in a minimalist vein but expands its scope. It features three characters: a Mexican man (Gael Garcia Bernal) and his American fiancee (Hani Furstenberg) traveling across the country of Georgia with their local guide (Bidzina Gujabidze). Planet, which opens October 26 at the IFC Center, often feels like a placid travelogue, particularly in its first half, but a sudden moment of danger changes the characters’ relationships forever. We spoke to Loktev about gender roles, the importance of casting, and how much she borrows from Hemingway.

Do you think your background as an immigrant has informed your work?
Definitely. In the case of this film. It influenced it because I have a personal connection to Georgia. I’m not from Georgia, I’m from Russia, but there’s a common Soviet past that we have. For me, it was a very natural place to shoot because I could communicate with everyone over 20 by speaking Russian. The younger generation don’t speak Russian, but the older generation do.

Continue reading »

Tags: , , ,

Recent Comments

Most Commented On

Most Shared Stories

Top Viewed Stories

© 2013 The L Magazine
Website powered by Foundation