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You've been hoping for weeks that Nate Silver's near mathematical certainty is real science and not just statistical Valium, and with early returns rolling in, East Coast battlegrounds turning blue up and down the coast, things are looking GOOD. From nervous anticipation to sneaking smugness, these songs will match your triumphant emotional arc...
It's early in the evening. Things are starting to feel, kinda, sorta, like they might turn out ok. You're looking for a song that allows for a certain degree of uncertainty, but also caters to the bright, positive feelings that are starting to flood in. Ellie Goulding has you covered with one of the year's very best pop singles.
Ohio is called for Obama, and the TV talking heads are unanimously attributing the win to the President's support of the American auto industry. Why not pay tribute to GM's sexiest saved product, maybe have a glass of wine about it?
While it's probably true that this year's election has been a lot more depressing than four years ago, when the end of the Bush administration was finally in front of us. Tonight on the town probably won't match the all-time great NYC bar night that election night 2008 turned out to be. But the flashing, hologrammed election graphics proclaiming "Obama Re-Elected President" do bring a bit of that old magic back for a minute. Might as well pop down to your local to slap a couple fives, one more time.
You know it doesn't make you a good person, but you can't help that channel flip over to Fox News to take in the blubbering of some sad, incredulous dicks. Despite their feigned outrage for the last week (and you know, four solid years) voting really can be the best revenge. Go ahead and gloat for a second.
That pettiness is fleeting, though, overcome by a waft of pride and relief that things actually went the way they were supposed to. You will soon fall into a sound sleep, feeling at least a little bit more optimistic about tomorrow than you did about yesterday, looking forward to things getting a little bit better, in the slow, tedious, and often painful way of American politics. But first, a final toast.