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1. Andrew WK was named "Cultural Ambassador to the Middle East" by the U.S. State Department
In a move perfectly timed to soothe a region ready to explode, shatter into a million pieces, New York City gadfly, Brony spokesman, and perpetual party enthusiast Andrew W.K. has been named an official cultural representative of the U.S. State Department, soon to be deployed to the schools and concert venues of Bahrain in a mission to promote "partying and world peace." Though partying as an abstract concept is surely something that people of any belief system can rally around, odds that warring factions will be able to jointly commit to a playlist order or dip variety are slim. (If nothing else is accomplished, we would welcome any footage of W.K. and Hillary Clinton firing AK-47s into the air.)
Update! It's off! The State Department has cancelled W.K.'s mission! It turns out Bahrain has a terrible human rights record, and a party-centric cultural exchange isn't appropriate. We don't know how to feel about this. Fair enough?