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Venker explains, "In a nutshell, women are angry. They’re also defensive, though often unknowingly." I mean, OF COURSE, they're angry and defensive. They're stuck in a nutshell. That can't be comfortable. And they're defensively knocking men off pedestals. Or something. I don't know. At times it was very hard to parse what Venker was talking about because it was so absurd.
Venker tries to say that it's all women's fault that men don't want to marry them because when women assert themselves, it "pisses men off". And so, men, who are "served by feminism very well" take revenge by "retreating en masse" from women, or by taking advantage of feminism and "having sex at hello or living with their girlfriends with no responsibilities whatsoever."
This sounds horrible. Casual sex? NO, THANK YOU. A relaxed and undemanding home life, unbound by the constraints of a conventional marriage? UGH, GET IT AWAY FROM ME.
What can women do to avoid this dreaded fate? Venker has the answer, albeit an incredibly vague one. She says, "Fortunately, there is good news: women have the power to turn everything around. All they have to do is surrender to their nature — their femininity — and let men surrender to theirs. If they do, marriageable men will come out of the woodwork."
So, that's it! "Surrender to their nature—their femininity." But, well, what does that even mean? The thing is, I'm a woman. That's right! I am. But I don't actually want to get married.* So, am I really a man? Or am I still a woman? Just an average woman living in a nutshell? I don't get it. What side of the war am I even on? I don't want to be on the side Suzanne Venker is on, that's for sure. Because she has a regressive, damaging mentality about what the roles of men and women should be in both society and in relationships and I want no part of a philosophy that dictates what women should be like based on—by Venker's own admission—a "subculture" of men who hate women. Why on earth would I, or any self-respecting woman, let some misogynistic group of mouth-breathers dictate the kind of person I should be? That's some major bullshit. So if anyone wants to know where I was when the war on men started (as waged by Suzanne Venker) well, I'm sitting it out on the sidelines, enjoying the perks of casual sex and a matrimony-free life.
*Full disclosure: I was married. It was...not for me.
Follow Kristin Iversen on twitter @kmiversen