Monday, November 26, 2012

The War on Men: Fox News Investigates

Posted By on Mon, Nov 26, 2012 at 3:38 PM


Someday we'll all remember where we were when the war on men started. I don't mean the build-up to the war on men—otherwise known as the feminist movement—I mean the actual pitched battles being fought by the sexes as they struggle with one another for dominance, for what each side believes is rightfully theirs. The opening shot was sounded today by Suzanne Venker when she posted an article on entitled "The war on men." [sic] What about the war on capitalization, Suzanne? What about that?

Apparently, capitalization of titles is just one of the casualties in this epic struggle. But no matter, we have more important things to focus on. Namely, why don't men like women anymore? What did women do to fuck up the sweet deal that they've had for centuries? You know. The one where women didn't have the right to vote until less than a hundred years ago. The one where women still don't make anything like equal pay for doing an equal amount of work. The one where women are expected to take on all of the household chores and childcare responsibilities and look the other way while men have as much freedom as they want. THAT SWEET DEAL.

How does Venker know that men don't like women any more and that it's all women's fault? I'm glad you asked. Apparently, Venker wanted to know why it is exactly that "the share of women ages eighteen to thirty-four that say having a successful marriage is one of the most important things in their lives rose nine percentage points since 1997 — from 28 percent to 37 percent. For men, the opposite occurred. The share voicing this opinion dropped, from 35 percent to 29 percent." Now, there are different ways to interpret this data. Some people might interpret it to mean that, for men, there are other priorities in life, priorities like building a successful career. It doesn't necessarily have to mean that men just hate the idea of marriage because modern women are totally unfuckable harpies. But, according to Venker, that is pretty much exactly what it means.

Venker writes, "Believe it or not, modern women want to get married. Trouble is, men don’t." She knows this because she's been talking with "hundreds, if not thousands, of men and women. And in doing so, [she's] accidentally stumbled upon a subculture of men who’ve told [her], in no uncertain terms, that they’re never getting married. When [she] ask them why, the answer is always the same. Women aren’t women anymore."

They're not? What are they???


Venker explains, "In a nutshell, women are angry. They’re also defensive, though often unknowingly." I mean, OF COURSE, they're angry and defensive. They're stuck in a nutshell. That can't be comfortable. And they're defensively knocking men off pedestals. Or something. I don't know. At times it was very hard to parse what Venker was talking about because it was so absurd.

Venker tries to say that it's all women's fault that men don't want to marry them because when women assert themselves, it "pisses men off". And so, men, who are "served by feminism very well" take revenge by "retreating en masse" from women, or by taking advantage of feminism and "having sex at hello or living with their girlfriends with no responsibilities whatsoever."

This sounds horrible. Casual sex? NO, THANK YOU. A relaxed and undemanding home life, unbound by the constraints of a conventional marriage? UGH, GET IT AWAY FROM ME.

What can women do to avoid this dreaded fate? Venker has the answer, albeit an incredibly vague one. She says, "Fortunately, there is good news: women have the power to turn everything around. All they have to do is surrender to their nature — their femininity — and let men surrender to theirs. If they do, marriageable men will come out of the woodwork."

So, that's it! "Surrender to their nature—their femininity." But, well, what does that even mean? The thing is, I'm a woman. That's right! I am. But I don't actually want to get married.* So, am I really a man? Or am I still a woman? Just an average woman living in a nutshell? I don't get it. What side of the war am I even on? I don't want to be on the side Suzanne Venker is on, that's for sure. Because she has a regressive, damaging mentality about what the roles of men and women should be in both society and in relationships and I want no part of a philosophy that dictates what women should be like based on—by Venker's own admission—a "subculture" of men who hate women. Why on earth would I, or any self-respecting woman, let some misogynistic group of mouth-breathers dictate the kind of person I should be? That's some major bullshit. So if anyone wants to know where I was when the war on men started (as waged by Suzanne Venker) well, I'm sitting it out on the sidelines, enjoying the perks of casual sex and a matrimony-free life.

*Full disclosure: I was married. It was...not for me.

Follow Kristin Iversen on twitter @kmiversen

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