I love holiday songs. The playlist put together by L Mag music maestro—oh yeah, I just called Mike Conklin MAESTRO, and I'd do it again, even to his face—is definitely one of my favorite things about this particular holiday season. But not every song is as pure and wonderful as "All I Want for Christmas Is You." Oh no. Many, many Christmas songs are incredibly disturbing. Just today, The Atlantic proposed changing the lyrics to the date-rapey "Baby, It's Cold Outside" in an effort to redeem that superficially charming, profoundly creepy Christmastime classic. But whereas that song really doesn't hide the fact that it's about some dude pressuring a lady to sleep with him by plying her with roofies, there are some other holiday songs that are much more subtly creepy. Here's a list of songs to avoid if you want to actually be cheerful this season and not confirm the statistical likelihood that you'll jump off the Brooklyn Bridge and into the icy depths below.