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And, so, Hannah! What is she up to? Well, Hannah is still working at Café Grumpy and writing (which she claims are "two full time jobs") and secretly-ish hooking up with Sandy, who is black and owns a copy of The Fountainhead, and taking care of Adam and his broken leg. Hannah stands up more to Adam, telling him that he's not being "nice" to her, but she also holds a pot for him to piss in, so there are still some issues there. But, also, Hannah is living with Elijah and they seem to really be making it work. They even get it together enough to throw a big party and plan more festivities for the future—themes will include "fondue night, craft night, Japanese snack night, and French salon night." The last of which is not, as Hannah thinks, about haircuts or lesbians, but was instead inspired by Elijah having recently watched Midnight in Paris and thinking, "Oh, I could do that."
So, the party is pretty solid. It involves Elijah's old, rich boyfriend getting wasted and shaming everyone via the karaoke microphone and saying that they're all "too fucking boring." Things were, as you can imagine, different when he was their age. Ah, old people! When will they learn that nostalgia is death? Also at the party is Marnie's ex, Charlie, with his headband-wearing girlfriend. This necessarily sends Marnie into a tailspin which hits its nadir after the party is over. Marnie and Elijah sing Sarah McLachlan's "Building a Mystery" and try to have sex. It doesn't work. Oh, it doesn't work at all. Poor Marnie just wants to be close to someone and Hannah has already told her that they just aren't as close as they used to be because they don't live together and, well, since physical proximity is the key to emotional intimacy, they're screwed. Hannah has the amazing ability to say really cruel things in a really matter-of-fact way and, I know she's just a fictional character, but, yeah, I think she'll be a good writer. Anyway, Marnie winds up going to Charlie's apartment and climbing into bed with him because she doesn't want to be alone. Oh, Marnie.
Hannah makes a quick run over to Adam's to bring him his pain pills and then, despite his protests that he makes her feel better than anyone else has (something about "making her whole body feel like a clit") Hannah bails. She changed her mind about Adam. And the episode ends with Hannah undressing in Sandy's apartment while he goes to get his copy of The Fountainhead for her.
Premieres are always drawn-out establishing shots for the rest of the season, and this one did a pretty good job. Each of the main characters is in a place that is newly disorienting for her, and we get to see who will sink and who will swim. Marnie, who had always been so stable and successful, just wants to curl up in the fetal position next to her old boyfriend. Shoshanna, who speaks the letters OMG out loud, is entering into something with a guy who actually hates emoji (which is crazy to me, but whatever.) In the words of Ray, "You sent me a panda next to a gun next to a wrapped gift. It makes no sense." Jessa, who was portrayed as the ultimate free spirit, is now tied down in a way that it doesn't look like she's even begun to process yet. And Hannah, who always seemed to be begging for someone to love her, now has different romantic options and is choosing her path instead of letting it unfold for her. All that I hope for Hannah is that she heeds the Lilith Fair-approved words of Sarah McLachlan and goes ahead building her mystery, but, also, choosing carefully.
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