Friday, March 15, 2013

Time Warner Cable Ruins Everything

Posted By on Fri, Mar 15, 2013 at 11:40 AM

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Those of us who are stuck dealing with Time Warner Cable (and, yes, I know it's always an option not to have cable, but also, really, it's not an option for me) already know that Time Warner Cable is the worst. I mean, TWC put Sir Patrick Stewart through hell! You do not fuck with Jean-Luc Picard, you just don't. Unless you're Magneto, I guess. And, yes, I know I just mixed up franchises, but I don't even care because I'm so upset about what Time Warner Cable is screwing with this time. So upset.

The newest evil plot by the TWC overlords was reported on by the Daily News today. Time Warner Cable will be renaming iconic New York City station NY1 and calling it "TWC News." The News reports that TWC is doing this because "top brass at Time Warner want you to know that they own NY1 — and when consumers switch to a rival like Verizon they will lose the news channel. To hammer home that point, NY1 will undergo a 'rebranding' and name change to TWC News."

I hate this so much. Apparently, "the changes are the result of market research that found Time Warner subscribers were not aware that Time Warner owned NY1." But that's a good thing! It's good that no one knows NY1 is not operated by Time Warner Cable because the love New Yorkers have for NY1 is directly proportional to the hatred we have for TWC. Why kill that love? Why are you trying to kill all the love, Time Warner Cable?

In addition to a name change, NY1 "will also receive an extensive makeover, including new logos, graphics and theme music." So stupid. I wish that I could switch to Verizon Fios but it isn't available where I live. So I'm stuck with Time Warner Cable. I swear, though, that if they do anything to Pat Kiernan, I am just quitting tv forever. FOREVER.


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