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And now we're on to Brienne and Jaime, who continue their trek across the countryside, bantering and bickering and getting to, um, really know each other. Jaime is prodding Brienne about her love for Renly, who Jaime suspects wasn't ever going to be interested in Brienne and wasn't even really interested in the Iron Throne. Jaime thinks Renly wasn't suited to be king and Brienne gets increasingly angry, which Jaime loves, so he provokes her more.
He says to her, "It's a shame the throne wasn't made out of cocks, they'd have never got him off it."
And while we all think about that image for a second, Brienne just freaks out and puts her sword to Jaime's neck. She growls, "Shut your mouth."
Jaime speaks quietly and with no small amount of empathy when he tells her, "I don't blame him and I don't blame you either. We don't get to choose who we love." Ah, yes. Preach, Jaime. I mean, it's a shame that who you love is your sociopathic, in-over-her-head sister, but it happens.
The moment is ruined however by an old man walking down the road, hauling a wagon. He pauses to chat with them and as he leaves, Jaime warns Brienne that the old man recognized him. Brienne refuses to kill an innocent though, so they continue on their way, and I'm so sure that decision won't come back to bite them in the ass at all.
Speaking of asses and things that come out of them, here are the most unhealthy mother-son duo since Norman Bates and his mother. It's Cersei and that piece of shit Joffrey and Cersei is trying to warn Joffrey of the dangers of Margaery Tyrell, calling her a whore and reminding Joffrey that Margaery bedded that traitor, Renly. Joffrey flips out on his mother and says that Margaery only married Renly because she was told to and, "that's what intelligent women do, what they're told." As terrible as Cersei is, watching her get put in her place by that piece of shit Joffrey is really uncomfortable. But I'll get over it. Because they kind of deserve each other.
And now we meet one of the best characters ever: Lady Olenna Tyrell. Ser Loras arrives at Sansa's chamber to escort her to lunch with Lady Margaery and their grandmother, the Lady Olenna, also known as the Queen of Thorns, also known as a total badass. Now, why exactly was Sansa summoned? To be interrogated of course. The Tyrells are no fools. This is becoming crystal clear. Well, or at least, the Tyrell women are no fools. The men don't seem that impressive.
Anyway, Lady Olenna is rightfully concerned about her granddaughter marrying Joffrey, so she wants Sansa to spill the dirt. She inquires, "Tell me the truth about this royal boy, this Joffrey. Has this boy mistreated you?"
When poor Sansa can barely speak, because she is so terrified, Lady Olenna asks, "Has he ripped out your tongue?"
"Tell the truth," says the Queen of Thorns, "no harm will come to you."
This triggers something deep in Sansa and she blurts out, "My father always told the truth." Ah. Poor thing.
"Yes," says Olenna, "he had that reputation and they named him traitor and took his head."
Sansa vehemently spits out "Joffrey. Joffrey did that. He's a monster."
Margaery and her grandmother exchange a look. "Ah. That's a pity."
Although Olenna tells Sansa that Margaery will still marry Joffrey, I am not so worried about Margaery's ability to deflect whatever the Lannisters throw at her. Later, when she is alone with Joffrey in his chamber, Margaery handles the accusations of her crossbow-weilding, piece of shit betrothed without a problem. She gives Joffrey what he wants, which is gossip, by telling him that she never slept with Renly because he was gay. And she reassures Joffrey that, in her mind, " You must do whatever you want to do. You are the king." She also hints at a real appetite for blood, so basically she has convinced Joffrey that she's his perfect woman. Smart girl.