So, here we are in episode 3. Shit is about to go down. No more laying the groundwork, there is real action to be had. Finally! So, what did we learn in this episode? Well, we learned a lot actually. Even more new characters were introduced—including Brynden "The Blackfish" Tully who is a total badass. Lots and lots of stuff happened. There was sex and there was violence and there was death and there was birth. And the ending. The ending! Let's get to it.
So, the King of the North and his people have arrived at Riverrun, the family seat of House Tully. They are here to mourn the death of Lord Hoster, Catelyn's father. He gets a Viking-esque send-off, and is laid in a boat covered in kindling before being pushed off into the river. Here's where you realize, though, that not all of the Tully's are super-skilled at doing things. Not that Catelyn is exactly a model of competence herself, what with having kidnapped Tyrion a while back and then fucking up the whole Jaime situation as badly as she did. Actually, considering how crazy Lysa Arryn née Tully is too, maybe something just went totally wrong in that generation? Anyway. The boat carrying Lord Hoster is supposed to be set ablaze by an arrow. Unfortunately Catelyn's brother, Edmure, is no Bronn of the Blackwater and can not hit the boat to save his life. Luckily, total badass Brynden Tully steps in and does it in one try. Apparently, this is a skill that is needed in Westeros. And Brynden the Blackfish has skills.
Once the funeral is over, Robb really tears into Edmure, who, it should be noted, is played by Tobias Menzies who played Brutus in HBO's "Rome." Will Edmure Tully and Mance Rayder have any scenes together? A nerdy as hell fangirl can dream, can't she? Anyway, Edmure didn't just screw up the funeral, he also screwed up an opportunity to capture the Mountain and bring Tywin Lannister to his knees. Edmure maintains that he captured a mill and two young, unimportant Lannisters, and Robb looks like if he could change into a wolf, he would. And then he'd tear his uncle's head off.
The Blackfish, who is equally disappointed in Edmure, points out that, "We seem to be running thin on patience here."
And Robb tersely states, "You know who isn't? Tywin Lannister."
Which is true! But Tywin Lannister is running out of chairs. He is leading the King's Small Council meeting, which is attended by Varys, Pycelle, Littlefinger, Cersei, and Tyrion. Cersei goes to sit near her father. Tyrion, already situated at the far end of the table, moves away even further, putting himself directly opposite Tywin and Cersei. Not really subtle, but definitely effective. Tywin is angry and wants to know where Jaime is. Me too! I always want to know where Jaime is. We find out that Roose Bolton, who is aligned with the Northmen, is in Harrenhal. And then Lord Baelish is told that he should wed Lysa Arryn, which seems to make him happy because he will have dominion over the Arryn lands. I'm not sure if he knows that Lysa still breastfeeds her preteen son, but I'm sure he'll find out soon enough. Also, Tyrion is named new Master of Coins. Which doesn't seem so bad? But because of Cersei's devilish smile, it clearly is.
And out in the woods, a pack of men move together, singing the song "The Bear and Maiden Fair." It is, frankly, creeping me out. These are Jaime and Brienne's captors who are singing and these are bad, bad guys. Jaime and Brienne are tied together, riding a horse and bickering. Mostly, Jaime is trying to convince Brienne that she never would have beaten him in a fair fight. Suddenly though, Jaime transitions into, like, real talk. Jaime warns Brienne that their captors will probably try to rape her and that she shouldn't resist, lest she be killed. He admits to her that he'd rather die if he was in her position, but also that he's just glad he's not a woman to begin with. Yeah, women. We do not have an easy time of it. But then, neither does Jaime in the end.