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And look who it is now! It's that little piece of shit, Joffrey, who is touring the Sept with Margaery, Cersei, and the Queen of Thorns so that they can better plan the wedding. That little piece of shit, Joffrey, is highlighting for Margaery all of the atrocities that have occurred there in the past. He's such a little piece of shit. Everyone—even Cersei—knows Joffrey is a little piece of shit. Except Joffrey. He doesn't know. Not yet. I think he will one day though. I really do.
The Queen of Thorns stands with Cersei and, knowing that they are both thinking what a little piece of shit Joffrey is, says, "We mothers do what we can to keep our sons from the grave, but they do seem to yearn for it. We shower them with good sense and it slides right off, like rain off a wing."
"And yet the world belongs to them," Cersei replies.
"A ridiculous arrangement to my mind," says the Queen of Thorns.
For just a brief moment, I had to wonder what Cersei would have been like with a good mother, or without Tywin as her father. She does, after all, have some cleverness and is constantly thwarted just because she's a woman. It's too bad she wasn't born a Tyrell. I mean, it's too bad EVERYONE wasn't born a Tyrell—or at least a Tyrell woman—because they are clearly awesome.
But then Cersei remembers who she is talking to, and that to agree with the Queen of Thorns would be to deny some of the strength of the Lannisters and so simply says, "The gods have seen fit to make it so." But as she says this, Margaery is working her magic on Joffrey, and convinces him to leave the Sept and greet the people of King's Landing who are thronged at the gates. The two go outside and are greeted by cheers because everyone loves Margaery. Well. Everyone except Cersei, who looks on in a way that reminds us that she is the worst.
We now see Theon and his rescuer ride through the forest. We still don't know who this rescuer is exactly, though he claims to have rescued Theon out of respect for Balon Greyjoy. Theon talks of paying the iron price for Winterfell, and killing orphan boys and passing them off for the Starks. Theon has nothing but regret, it seems. He thinks he chose wrong, burned everything down, and that his "real father" aka Ned Stark was beheaded at King's Landing.
So, I guess Theon feels bad and he's been rescued and so now there will be redemption for him, right? Right?!?! Yeah, no. Not at all. It's back on the torture rack for you, Theon. The torture rack that is just like the one on the sigil of House Bolton.
The rescuer lies to the other men standing there, "I brought him back. He killed the others."
Oh, Theon. Things are not looking good for you. Not at all.
Things are also not looking good for Jaime. He won't eat.
"What are you doing?" asks Brienne.
"I'm dying." Oh, Jaime! Don't die! How will you get revenge if you die?
Brienne shares my dismay, but voices it in a different way. "A little misfortune and you're giving up," she says with contempt. "You sound like a bloody woman."
Jaime eats. Brienne acknowledges what's been unspoken—they're now in this together. She asks him, "Why did you help me?"
And I yell at the screen, "BECAUSE HE'S JAIME LANNISTER AND HE'S FUCKING AWESOME." And...scene.