Page 2 of 2
Recently someone called me on this, and sent me a text that said:
Hey, we had a great time, and you acted as though you really liked me back. So what gives about you not answering any of my messages?
I was blown away by this guy's directness. I was so refreshed to hear from someone who was brave enough to confront me, I almost went on a second date with him.
Instead, I just sent him a text back:
Yeah, we had a great time. And I'm sorry about leading you on, but I don't think there's any spark between us.
Fair enough, pretty lady.
That was it. Simple. Easy. Adult. Again, I was so taken aback by his mature texting, I was very close to saying, “The hell with this, let's get drunk and make out.” Thankfully, I decided to take a page from his book, and try to act a little more grown up. I refrained with a grace I never knew I had.
Outside of my dating life, I think I'm a pretty upfront person, with a healthy “I don't like everyone, so why should everyone like me” type of attitude. But, personal rejection feels so complicated. I can't face up to it — no matter if it's me getting dumped or doing the dumping.
What really shocked me though, was that when that dude stood up to me, I respected him more for it. Wouldn't we all be happier daters if we were more honest? Myself included. So here’s the deal: I can’t predict that anyone will give me the benefit of sending me an “I don’t really like you” text, voicemail, or even email. Which I think we can all agree on is better than nothing, no matter how unfortunate. But I can say I’m going to more disciplined about doing these things myself, if not for any other reason than because it's the kind thing to do. So, I'm putting my big girl pants on, and I'm making you the promise that I'll be upfront about how much I hate Bukowski.
Follow Lacy Warner on twitter @laceoface